A letter to my son

Sweet boy,

You won't remember the day like I do.  The day I walked (and walked and walked) and prayed and talked to you and smiled throughout one whole night and another whole day.  You won't remember how I whispered to you over and over again, encouraging you and wishing you into the world.  You won't remember the monumental effort it took to get you out, or the the way I laughed and cried when I finally (FINALLY!) saw your little face.

You won't remember how much I cherished you in that warm hospital blanket.

You won't remember the sleepless year that followed.  The thousands of kisses.  The belly laughs.  The first bites of food.  You won't remember how I watched, breathless, as you took your first steps.

It is my honor as your mother to carry the moments you'll never remember for both of us, allowing them to lay the path on the road to the man you are meant to be.  YOU are going to be something else, my wonderful son.  

At five, you are beloved of everyone who meets you.  You bring smiles and joy.  You give the very best hugs.  You are so funny, full of motion and sometimes even wild.  Your grin, with its missing front tooth, lights up every room you enter.  

I love you with a fierce devotion that defies measurement.  I see the way you have grown in this last year, the way your puffy hands and legs have lengthened and become strong and certain.  I love them at five; but it is a love that carries with it the memory of tiny fingers, of chubby, wobbly legs and a soft body that once sought comfort and rest inside my embrace. 

  You are growing into the most amazing you.  I'm so grateful to get to be a part of it.  

All my love and hugs, precious boy,

xoxo

Mommy

Kid Update: Logan

Our wonderful Logan boy is almost four and a half.  In some ways, I can't believe that time has gone so fast.  In others, I have always felt that he is much older than his years, and in many ways his little body is just catching up with where he has been all along.  

I have learned so much about men after having a little boy. Boys are boys, right from the beginning, and Logan is no exception.  He is wiggly and wild, likes to climb and is constantly in motion. 

He is strong and brave, loves his sisters and is so tender and sweet with them, but also has that boy energy that needs to come out; that big man's desire for respect tied up in a little body.  He loves cars and tractors and anything with wheels, Star Wars, superheroes and things that fight.  The girls' baby dolls hold no interest from him (though they did once) and doesn't want to play kitchen with his sisters (though he can be persuaded like a good brother).  

Yep, we're raising a future man.

When he was 18 months old, he zigged when he should have zagged in the bathtub, and ended up breaking part of his front tooth against the faucet.  In July, we finally had to have the tooth extracted.  Logan was a champ - seriously, like the bravest kid ever.  No tears, no fear, nothing - about the whole process, and now his cute little smile includes a gap that will be with him for the next several years until his adult tooth takes its place.

He started preschool this year.  Really, his second round of preschool.  We did a very light schedule when he was three because he so badly wanted to "do school" like a big kid.  He excels in school, and is doing amazing things.  

At four, he does all the CC memory work with us (math, geography, English grammar, Latin, history, science, and timeline).  His memory is amazing.  When I started Leah, she was four and a half, and I skipped two subjects her first year because I didn't want to overwhelm her.  Logan has done all seven subjects with flying colors, and knows solidly half of them at 100%.  It's impressive.  

I also started him on some serious kindergarten math, and slowly, a few sight words.  Because, holy moly, he's ready for it.  I will never take for granted the privilege of being here to witness the educational journeys of my children in the special ways I am privy to!

I adore his personality.  Like his big sister, he loves adults and will often prefer to "buddy up" to them instead of kids his own age.  I routinely get awesome reports from his teachers at church that he is helpful and kind, wanting to make sure that every kid has something to play with or enough snack.  He likes to help pass out materials if they are doing a project.  He loves to help at home, and virtually without complaint will help with anything from making my coffee in the morning, to washing windows, preparing dinner or helping with laundry.  He makes his own bed every morning and is responsible about taking care of clothes and toys.

He loves taking care of his sister, and they are so sweet to watch together.  Although often she takes advantage of him and tries to take his stuff.  And every now and again, he likes to pull rank and boss her around, none of which goes over very well.  Kids.  

The reality is, we don't have much bickering in our house.  We have kids.  We have a family, made up of different personalities, wants and needs, and we are all constantly together.  But the amazing thing is that they so genuinely enjoy one another's company that the overwhelming majority of the time, they all figure it out pretty seamlessly.  It is both humbling and impressive to watch.  

Well...Much of the time, anyway.  Considering we're all just a bunch of stubbornly sinful humans in need of lots of grace!

He is so, so, so beyond excited about having a brother.  He does awesome with the girls, and truly is one of the most gentle and considerate brothers I've seen.  But... that boy-ness.  It begs for a companion! He loves having Jake around, but it will be awesome for him to have a brother close in age to rough house and climb and spend his childhood with.  I was pretty neutral on the gender front, but for little Logan's sake there was just a tiny piece of me that was hoping for a boy to even out our household.  

It has been a pretty fun journey with this sweet little guy. 

It's a noisy, fast-paced journey that is continually in motion. 

 And we're loving being a part of it. 

Easter Sunday

Easter is certainly our favorite spring holiday.  Despite the fact that the weather showed no signs of the spring season that was on its way, we had a wonderful resurrection Sunday. 

I so enjoy filling their little Easter baskets!  

Leah's

We decided long ago that Easter baskets were not to be filled with junk.  

Livvy's

 Instead, we try to pack in things that will be useful for the upcoming summer season.  

Logan's

Each child always receives a pair of sandals.

And my kiddos are absolutely wild about jammies, so they each get a summer pair of those as well.

They also got new shades (don't worry, Liv got a real pair, too!)

We rounded it out with the Milne Pooh collection of stories and poems, which we hope to read this summer.

Last year, I began the tradition of tucking Bible verses in along with their treasures.

I love having a reader in the house!

But my favorite part of Easter morning is watching the whole gang as they hang around in their jammies and mussy bed-heads. 

Those unguarded moments when they're just all together. 

I suppose these moments aren't that different from our other mornings.  Homeschooling gives us the wonderful advantage that most of our mornings aren't rushed or hurried.  Still, these days of tiny rushing feet and silly giggles are just my favorite. 

And, because it was still snowing and cold, I didn't subject my family to the traditional Easter church photo.  But I did try to re-create it a week later, once the snow had melted.

Of course, by then, Casey was on the road again.

And the three had a serious case of the sillies.  But hey, those are the things our lives are made of. 

California: Disney!

You know how there are certain things in life that you look forward to for so long that you actually ruin with your own level of intense anticipation?  Those things that you've built up in your mind so much that the reality could never hope to live up to the fantasy?

Disneyland was not one of those things!

Sure, there was a bit more crying than I had hoped for.  A few more temper tantrums and blood-sugar meltdowns.  The crowds were bigger than I'd anticipated.  In short: it wasn't a perfect trip.

But oh my.  OH.  MY.  It was so good!

Watching my family walk down Mainstreet was one of those moments.  We'd barely even made it into the park, and I already had tears in my eyes.

Our first ride of the day was the Jungle Cruise.

Which wasn't exactly their favorite.  In fact, it was "too scary."

So naturally we felt the need to traumatize them even more by taking them on Pirates of the Caribbean.

I won't lie, it resulted in some tears from both kids.  But that's part of the experience... right?

We stopped for a photo op with an evil queen before heading over to the Nemo submarine ride.

Which was far and away Logan's favorite!  We rode this one three times in two days.

And then the Disneyland classic:

'

I won't even say the name, because Lord knows that song will get stuck in your head the moment I do.  Out of the goodness of my heart, I'll just spare you that one.



It was marvelous for everyone, but this is one that Miss Livvy particularly enjoyed. And, I SWEAR it was entirely by magical, Disney accident that it just happens that I took the above picture of Olivia right here, with Ariel in the background, five and a half years after we took this one:

I know you're about to call shenanigans on me, but really.  It wasn't until I was going through the photos when we got home that I found that sweet connection.

There were so many highlights of the day, but I have to record two of my favorites, and I didn't snap any photos to go along with them.

The first was Leah's absolute insistence that she wanted to ride the Matterhorn.  She has never been on a roller coaster in her life, and she had just finished crying on Pirates of the Caribbean.  Still, she must have said it ten times.  "I just can't stop looking at the Matterhorn!"  "Mommy, please can we do the Matterhorn next?!"

We spent a few minutes watching it go so that she could see how fast it was.  She was absolutely decided.  Even the fact that it's a single rider - so I couldn't sit next to her, she would have to sit all by herself - didn't shake her resolve.

So we agreed to let her give it a try.

When we finally got to the front of the line, they put us in the very front.  I tried to dissuade her from sitting in the first car with me behind her... but she was so excited to be in the front!  I fully admit, I was nervous. I mean, the kid was brought to tears by Pirates of the Caribbean, which is gentle enough that even Livvy could ride it. They strapped us in, and I reached over the seat so that she could hold my hand, as she had requested.

Although it did go pretty fast, there weren't any big drops like roller coasters so often have.  There were twists and turns, but nothing too scary.  And my kid?  She absolutely loved it!  It was her favorite ride of the entire trip.  I was so glad we decided to chance it!

The other moment that was beyond wonderful was watching my big girl meet the princesses.

It was an amazing moment, as I watched this little girl transform.  I watched her eyes, listened to her voice, and got an advanced glimpse of the woman she will one day become.  She was so awed, her little face just lit up with wonder and joy.  Somehow, though, she still managed to remain incredibly poised. She spoke with each one with such an amazing, grown up elegance that it just blew me away and brought tears to my eyes.  She was so precious, so brave, that wonderful girl of mine.  It was my favorite moment of the whole trip - and it was a really, really good trip, so that's saying something.

Back to the photos I did remember to take...

Little Livvy took her nap on me again that day.  The fact that she's not yet walking and so willing to stay a baby really paid off during this trip.  The other two - Logan, in particular - would never, ever have consented to be carried around or nap on the go.

We stayed for the afternoon parade, which we only caught the end of, but it was really fun.

Because, oh my goodness, how great are these faces?

We just had time for a churro and a quick show.  The Frozen kind.

And then it was time to go back to the hotel.  Which, if you're my kids means

you don't worry about the fact that you've had a busy and exciting day at Disneyland!  You take an evening swim while Mommy puts the baby to bed.  Obviously.

The next day, we woke up early and got to the park as soon as it opened.

Two hours and more meltdowns than I can count later, we had three kids who were a complete and total mess.  They were hot.  They were hungry.  They hadn't ridden anything, nor would they on account of the fact that they were totally miserable.

So we called it and went back to the hotel for lunch and a nice, long nap.

At about 4:00, we headed back into the park, and Casey and I were amazed.  It was a totally different story.

We watched the Disneyland Band perform, and watched the entire parade.

Leah and her new favorite princess, Belle.

Logan was so happy to see Mary Poppins, the chimney sweeps and Burt.  I think they were his favorite.

In a totally random coincidence, we also ran into a friend of mine, a girl I went to elementary school with.  It was crazy!  We have known one another since we weren't much older than our daughters.

We met up for dinner, and it was such a wonderful surprise to unexpectedly get to see her and meet her family!

After that fun surprise, we stayed to watch the lights parade.  The kids did better at 10 p.m. than they had done at 10 a.m.

Casey and I had one more surprise for the kids.  One of the things we are most proud of when it comes to our kids is the fact that they truly have hearts of gratitude.  Here we were at Disneyland, surrounded by all the things and stuff, and not once did either of them ask for anything.  Not one single thing, with the exception of rides they wanted to go on.  Their sweet little hearts were content to look and experience without asking for more.

So, we agreed that they could each choose one thing, anything, that they wanted to remember their trip.

This is an opportunity that they have really never had before, to actually select for themselves, and it was so wonderful to watch the expressions of their hearts.

Each of them chose something so perfectly fitting their character.

Leah selected a Belle dress, after her new favorite princess.

Logan chose a Darth Vader doll.  Seriously, for the boy who is constantly surrounded by girls, girl toys and girl-y dress up and is so wonderfully tolerant of it all, Darth was the absolute perfect gift he could have selected.  Literally the most boyish toy possible in all of Disneyland.  He has no idea who Darth Vader is, and has only seen Star Wars in the form of those giant cut-outs they had a Target for the release of the new movie.  But I was so happy for how very happy this toy makes him!

And Livvy.  Sweet, darling Olivia Joy.  I spend a lot of time letting her explore her world.  When we go to the store, she gets to pick up the produce and put it in the bag.  If there is something she wants to touch while we're out and about, I try to make time to let her explore it or feel it.  But I have never, ever seen her react to something the way she reacted to the toy we ultimately got for her.  She was freaking out.  Lunging, grabbing and pointing.  She wanted that thing!  What was the object of her desire?

This guy.  The Lotsa bear from Toy Story 3.  She would not put it down once she got her hands on it.  She hugged and kissed that bear over and over, it was so adorable.

The best part of her choice is that, because the character in the movie is an old toy, this stuffed bear is all matted, off-color and looks like he is actually old toy (he's really adorable and impossibly soft, for the record).  So here she is, my precious third child who has had very few things new, and when she has her first chance to select something brand new, she ends up falling head over heels in love with something that already looks old.

I loved their choices so much, I haven't even paused to think about what it means that two of my three children selected villains.

It was a wonderful trip.  Filled with so many precious moments that I know I will remember forever.  I hope it won't be our last visit to the Magic Kingdom, I'm already looking forward to going back!