Paparazzi

When we found out we were pregnant, one of my dearest desires was to be able to capture and preserve all the precious memories I knew we were in store for.

Now, if you know me, you know that I am not the most technologically savvy. In fact, most 80 year old grandmothers can out-do me when it comes to knowledge and application of technology.

Nonetheless, I desperately wanted a digital SLR camera. My silly hope was that I might be able to take a photography class some summer while I'm not working.

Then we started to actually research purchasing one.

And quickly discovered that, boy-howdy, are nice cameras ever expensive! By the time it was over, Casey and I decided that our little point-and-click would have to suffice, because we simply weren't going to be able to afford something that nice and extravagant.

Well....

....Ta-Da!!!

And the best part? It was FREE!!!!

Okay, so free is a slight exaggeration. But we paid almost nothing out of pocket, thanks to the magic of credit card points.

Once upon a time, we began accruing credit card points in the hopes of purchasing flights for our honeymoon. Seeing as that day never came, we decided to apply the points to something that would actually mean something special to our family for years to come.

The best part is that this is a purchase we simply never would have gotten around to saving for and making otherwise. I am SO grateful for this beautiful camera!!!!!!!

Now all I have to do is actually learn how to use it {gulp}.

Watch out, world!

Better than a hallelujah

There is a beautiful Christmas song by Amy Grant that has always made me cry.

One year, I sat in the parking lot while on my way to purchase Christmas gifts and absolutely sobbed when this song came on.

It's called Breath of Heaven, and it is written from the perspective of Mary talking to God about her fears surrounding this huge task He has set before her... namely, carrying the Son of God (no biggie...).

It appeals to me on so many levels - that of a survivor, that of a woman, and now, most poigniantly, that of a mother.

The verse that keeps coming back to me - especially as I have done this all by myself for the past month - is this one:

Do you wonder

as you watch my face

If a wiser one

should have had my place?

But I offer all I am

For the mercy of your plan.

I have done a far from perfect job with my husband away. I am so flawed as a mother (as a person!). I so often wonder if God looks at me this way, and wonders if perhaps someone wiser, more patient and better equipped should have had my place. I struggle, because this is exactly where I want to be, and yet... it's just so darned difficult! I get caught up in the stress of how hard it is and forget to be grateful. And I am SO grateful.

I don't want to be the kind of person who gets everything she wants - far, far more than she could ever deserve - and still complains about my miracle.

And so I have to remember, consciously, and with effort, even when it is difficult, that I am so.darned.blessed.

I have to remember that the beautiful cries of my baby - no matter how difficult to endure - are infinitely better than the quiet of their absence.

Remember that so much of life isn't what happens to us, but how we choose to respond; how we choose to rise to the occassion.

Remember that the lullaby of my frustrated tears in the dead of night are better than a hallelujah song.

Above all, I have to remember that - flaws and imperfections and all - God chose me to be Leah's mommy. That's a pretty powerful thought!

Here's the song, if you're interested. It'll have you reaching for the tissues if you're an easy target (like me!).

We're Back!

I survived...

I survived three weeks completely on my own with Leah! It inspired me to have an entirely new level of respect for single parents, and husbands and wives of military men and women who are deployed. I honestly don't know how these people do it alone. It is an incredible task!

After three weeks on our own, I decided that enough was enough and hoofed it down to my mom's house in Littleton for a very blessed and wonderful week. We walked through downtown Littleton and window shopped (and enjoyed a DELICIOUS gyro, which I have been dreaming about ever since!), we went to the Hudson gardens, we walked around Clement Park lake... it was heaven. And SO nice to have another adult around to talk to and interact with and to help me with all the little things that make parenting a 4 month old all by myself so difficult. I love my mom!

With Casey leaving for home in the morning (incidentally, taking exactly the same route we drove home from California...), I am getting extremely excited to FINALLY have him home.

All totaled, he will have been home 4 days out of the last 37, two of which he worked (but at least he was in-state).

WE ALL SURVIVED!

I can't wait to show him the incredible changes in his daughter. She is like a whole new little lady! She suddenly has an amazing interest in her toys, and everything is finding its way into her mouth. Not just to suck, but to gum like it's going out of style. Her little hands now reach out for me when she wants me. She puts her hands on either side of my face and pulls me in for kisses (read: big, slobbery open mouth. I LOVE IT!). She has been through sleep training and is doing beautifully. She is learning to soothe herself and take longer naps (HOORAY!). She tried her first water (and made her first "why would you do that to me?! You have GOT to be kidding!" face).

It's a whole different game than when he left. I am soooooo sorry he has missed this much, but we are so grateful to be welcoming him home.

Here are a few pics from our week in my home town:
This can of coke was the hit of the week. She was much more interested in playing with this than any of her toys! (Please note: it is closed, and I did NOT feed this to Leah!)

Why do I often find that I match my daughter?? Who cares, when we're that cute!

I think she enjoyed having an audience.

Leah loved having coffee on the patio! Her mommy did, too.

This is sooooo the only way to travel.

Peek-a-boo!

Who's excited to see Daddy?

Who needs to sleep when you could be crawling?

Leah is having some trouble sleeping.

She is taking only minutes-worth of naps, waking herself up in the middle of the night...

What is disrupting her sleep? Well, they say practice makes perfect!

Last night, I could hear some funny little noises on the monitor. I went in to discover my sweet baby girl laying quietly in the dark, on her stomach, legs propped under her, trying desperately to crawl. All by herself at 11:00 at night, just practicing away.

I watched for about 10 minutes before she started to get frustrated and I went in to get her.

For the record, she is still too little to actually crawl... even if she practices through the night.

LOVE that baby.

Feets and Seats

Guess who can sit up -kinda-?!

- She pulled herself up to a sitting position today (okay, so she had a little help from the Boppy) -

- And then she proceeded to examine her feet -


- before looking mighty pleased with herself! -

- later in the day... same story! -

- Well done, Monkey! -

Don't fence me in

This one's for you, Daddy! We wish you were here!!!!

I think all the baby books must just lie.

Lie in an effort to deceive all parents into thinking their children are super-extraordinary and amazing (as if we needed any additional incentive?).

Or perhaps it's a relativity thing. Since we have nothing else to compare to, no yardstick by which to measure our kids, we simply assume they are uniquely incredible.

Either way, I think Leah is amazing and tenacious.

Partly because of things like this:


She desperately wants to move, and has been trying to get herself around since well before she should have been able to. (Let us not forget the scooting up the bed incident when she was two months old.)

But this is her first forray into (almost) legitimate crawling. While she was playing on her playmat today, she rolled herself onto her tummy. Before I knew it, I heard grunting and noticed that she had managed to move herself about three inches by hopping/rocking/pulling herself.

By the time I grabbed the camera, she was getting a bit fussy, so this isn't her best work. I'm guessing she was fussy because she couldn't just get right up and crawl away as she'd like to.

Nobody tell her that those skinny arms will never hold her ginormous noggin...

Guilty Pleasure

One of my favorite events of the summer:

Christmas in July!

Yes, I am aware that it was 98 degrees outside today.

The Home Shopping Network is my guilty pleasure.

I love to have this channel on, not because I like to buy things, but because I like to hear the voices while I'm doing whatever it is that I'm doing during my day. It's completely mindless, like music in the background, except that I can look up and see all the truly tacky...ahem... terrific odds and ends that wind up on HSN.

Odds and ends like these:

Who could possibly live without them?! AND, if you buy today, you also get free batteries! (That's right, they take batteries!) What's not to love?

It's kind of like window shopping at an old lady's estate sale, and I can vacuum at the same time.

Am I weird? I like to think I'm eccentric.