Eighteen.

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly time goes when it's measured in Baby.  Today, our sweet little Logan is 18 months old, which just blows my mind.  So very soon we'll be leaving all traces of babyhood behind, and inching closer to being a bonafide "kid."

18 months is always one of my favorite phases in life.  They're so adventurous, growing in independence and knowledge but still with that left-over sweet, loving spirit of babyhood. 

Some things about our little guy at 18 months (and Leah, for the record):

• He is so funny, sweet and loving.  He absolutely loves to make people laugh, and he has the greatest belly-laugh that is so much fun to listen to.  You can't help but smile when you hear his great big laugh!

• He is so friendly, and typically not shy at all.  He'll run up with arms outstretched and give the biggest hugs.  His favorite thing when we're out and about is to talk and wave to anyone in his general vicinity. 
• He knows oh so many words, but he is in no way as clear and easy to understand as Sissy was.  I do a lot more interpreting with him, and he uses the same word for several different things.  He calls me Daddy.  Why, I have no idea, but I can't get him to stop.  
• He is quite good at the two or three word sentences.  I do believe he's got Leah trumped at that; she was just beginning that process at 18 months.  Though, they also can require some interpretation.
• Sometimes his sentences include noises, which I find hilarious.  He likes to give me reports on different things throughout the day, and will say things like "Sissy, woo woo!"  This can be translated to: Sissy is playing with trains!  "Logan, tweet tweet!" means "I hear a bird!"  It's new ground for me, as this is another example of something Leah didn't do, but I love it.  
• Where Leah was very "academic" in the things she liked - she liked to count, loved anything to do with words and letters, knew her colors, etc - Logan is much more observational.  He isn't much interested in counting and learning letters or colors.  He likes to spot trucks and listen to birds and manipulate things and move his toys around.  He is much more into playing with toys than Leah ever was. 
• He loves to color and scribble, and he's actually pretty good at it.  He likes playdough and is great at using a fork (for the record, Leah still struggles with those fine motor skills.  It's funny how they each have their own strengths!).

• He loves to read, but he has a hard time sitting still for very long.  He's a big fan of board books, and his favorite by far is Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?  He loves to name all the animals in that book.
• He loves animals generally, and is fascinated by Elephants (ella!!! Ella!!!)  He can name pretty much all the animals, everywhere.  He knows all their noises and is happy to tell you about them.
•  He loves babies, and is sooo amazingly gentle.  And such a great helper, it's pretty amazing.  I am so lucky to have children who are geared that way!  I hope it keeps up once Baby is a permanent resident.  
  
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• With Leah, approaching two was a very surprising, confusing endeavor.  She was such a wonderful, rational and easy baby that when she began to show even a few irrational toddler behaviors, I was shocked and didn't know what to do.  Poor little Logan has been a toddler his entire life.  He is moody, cries for no reason, throws fits and screams bloody murder about crazy things I can't control, like when he's eaten all the peaches and there aren't any more.  Even at 18 months, he goes to time out... a lot.
• He is also extremely brave, which isn't terribly helpful as he's not technically that coordinated yet.  He walks and runs really well, but he is absolutely accident-prone because he will inevitably find something, somewhere to trip and hurt himself on.  The child climbs chairs and falls on his head - and he won't stop!  You'd think once would be enough, but nope.  He knocked out part of his two front teeth on the faucet in the bathtub about a month ago, and now has sharp little vampire teeth (sob from the mommy).  There is just no such thing as baby proofing for this one, he is clever and determined and finds ways to get what he wants - and isn't deterred by things that I think will deter him. It's going to be an adventure, raising this one, for sure.
  
• He wears size 4 diapers, size 5/6 shoes, and 2T clothing.  He's actually in an in-between phase where his 18 months are too small but 2T are just too big.  18-24 would be perfect, except I know there's no sense investing in them, since he'll have outgrown them by May.
• He is a really good sleeper and typically sleeps from 7-6 and naps for about an hour and a half during the day.  He absolutely loathes waking up, especially from naps.

 And of course, as is the custom by now, we had to have a little celebration.

And, though the's pictures don't adequately show it, our little guy love, love, loves cupcakes (and anything sweet)!

We love you, darling boy.  We are so very blessed to have you in our family!

Week 16 ramblings

I'm not sure it's possible for me to have neglected my writing on a more epic scale.  I have no excuse, just that whole life thing that happens every now and again.  For whatever reason, on this particular night, I have the sudden and irresistible urge to write it all out - and who am I to go against a calling?

We've been busy this February.  My motivation has been lower even than usual due to the fact that - in typical me fashion - I have absolutely zero immune system while pregnant.  I've had it all: stomach flu, regular flu, cold and now sinus infection.  Have I mentioned that I hate February?

We did make it to Arizona to celebrate my grandmother's 83rd birthday, which was wonderful and a very welcome break from the Colorado drearies.  People, there were swim suites.  It was beautiful.

But my real burning desire is to talk about this baby, and record the fact that at 16.5 weeks, I am completely convinced that we're welcoming a little girl.  Yes, I am aware that I'm 0 for 2 on the gender guessing game.  Go ahead, don't believe me.  There's a solid 50/50 chance I'll prove you wrong.

This pregnancy, though.  It has been so ridiculously similar to my pregnancy with Leah - and so not similar to my pregnancy with Logan - that I'm convinced.  Not that these similarities necessarily mean anything... we'll find that information out on delivery day.  (YIKES!  Have I mentioned?  We're not finding out the gender!!!!  Assuming I don't secretly purchase an ultrasound machine and try desperately to decipher what is sure to actually be my small intestine...)

What has me convinced we need more pink?  So glad you asked!

I hate chicken again.  GAG.  I can't stomach it unless it tastes absolutely nothing like chicken, and don't even get me started on trying to cook it.  That implies that I would handle raw chicken, and nobody wants me handling raw chicken unless they are super fond of cleaning up whatever happened to be for lunch earlier that day.  Meat in general isn't working for me, but nothing compares to the complete nastiness that is chicken.

I can't stay awake to save my life.  I'm exhausted all the time and can sleep pretty much anywhere (haha!!!  SUCK IT, insomnia!!  I so don't miss you!!).

What I really crave above all else is spicy.  S-P-I-C-Y.

Although I can feel the pressure of the baby when it moves, I'm not actually feeling movement.  I felt Leah around 20 weeks and Logan around 14.  With this one, I know it's happening and can feel the sensation but not the movement itself - I'm not even sure that makes sense.  I could absolutely chalk it up to gas pressure, except that I know better.  Plus my uterus is all loosey-goosey like a sock that's been worn too many times.  I'm not really sure how that affects the rate of fetal movement, but I'm quite sure it's playing a role somehow.

And so far, girl or not, this baby will very fondly be called "Hey You" after its born.  Possibly for quite a while.  It turns out, we only ever had two names in us that actually worked.  That shouldn't be a problem, right?  If Logan had been a girl, he would have been Addison, but somehow that name has worked its way out of contention over the course of the last two years.  We're left with Hey You, which is growing on me all the time.

At a playplace this week, there was a mother with two little boys and a very, very new baby girl.  I've gotten so used to people assuming I'm pregnant - much more pregnant than I actually am - that I took for granted that she would understand that I have a vested interest when I asked her this question: "How's three treating you?"  Her response?

"Well... I don't recommend it..."

HA!  Well... if you don't recommend it, let me just go back in time and work all that out!  I'm seriously hoping it's more about her being right in the thick of the overwhelmed new mother phase than her actual philosophy.  Otherwise, well, she's got a loooong time to think about her own choices!

Two things struck me this week: One, I am very nearly at the halfway point.  It's hard to believe how quickly that flew by, and I have to make a much more conscious effort not to let this pregnancy get away from me without keeping in mind how special it is.  Two: I have to actually have this baby.  It's funny how that reality isn't a reality but a hypothetical until the due date is practically upon us.  In the back of my mind, I've been more concerned about losing the baby than having the baby; having it still seemed like a remote possibility.  This week it really dawned on me that at some point in the not so distant future, the responsibility of bringing our baby into the world will lie with me.  Hopefully I can do a better job than I did with Logan!

I don't know that I have fully allowed myself to appreciate the miracle that is happening to me.  Not the way I should, anyway.  I suppose, in so many ways, that may just be typical of a third pregnancy; with so much else to tend to, my time is much more limited than it has ever been before while the process is that much more familiar.  But that is not to say that I'm not grateful for the really big miracle taking the form of a really tiny human.

That still remains the greatest blessing of all.

Kids' room design board

Well, I suppose for the sake of documentation, I should note that my beloved Broncos went to the Super Bowl.  And, since we're on that documentation gig, they looosed.  Big.  But, they went, which is saying something. 

And, although the question came up about a million times, I can't say I buy the hype that an amazing season and his entire legacy was "tarnished" by this loss.  One of my favorite articles on why failure - his, ours, any - is not just part of life, but an important part, can be found here.  Go Broncos!

But, on to happier topics... it's that time again!  We'd be remiss if there wasn't something happening on the remodel front in our house.  

We haven't been completely lazy; in January, we (and by "we," I fully mean Casey) remodeled our downstairs powder room.  Pictures of that are forthcoming.  Probably.

And now, we're on to the kids' room.  We're hoping to move Leah and Logan in together by summer, which will give us enough time to do the nursery before the baby gets here.  I have to say, one of the biggest things I missed when I was pregnant with Logan was sitting around in a newly completed nursery, dreaming of the baby.  It sounds so superficial, but I spent hours sitting in our nursery with Leah, rocking in that fresh new rocking chair, rubbing my belly and daydreaming about our sweet baby to be.  It was utterly peaceful, and one of my absolute happiest memories of being pregnant.  There were so many worries with Logan, I had no idea where we'd be and whether he would even have a nursery. I am really looking forward to the process of designing a special space for this baby!

So, the first step on that path is to get our current occupant out of the nursery...

Without further ado, I give you the design board for the kids' room:

I put this together using Olioboard, which is a neat program, although admittedly I don't know how to use it perfectly.  It helps to begin to compile all those ideas together in one place.

I was probably most inspired by this image:

...which I love for more reasons than I can count.  The simple color scheme.  The texture on the wall.  Those absolutely fabulous lights.  The letters on the wall.  Though we'll definitely be changing things up to make it work for our family, and as a girl-boy room, I imagine you'll see a lot of these influences in the finished product.  

Some things it will have: 

1. Planked walls

We're thinking a single accent wall, against which the bunk beds will sit.  I'm really loving the simplicity of white right now - which is 180 degrees the opposite my usual taste - but there's no way I could have an entirely white room.  I need my color!

2. Bunk beds

Obviously.  I love this one in the hopes that it will be something that can grow with our kids for years to come.

3. Art wall

I love the combination of traditional art prints, highlighting the kids' own creations and some wordy, inspiring sayings. Definitely including this watercolor print and something along the lines of this.

4. Reading nook.

Me and my love of words as art... what could be more natural than displaying those books rather than shoving them, unseen, in a bookcase?

5. Vintage industrial accents

How adorable is that red alarm clock?!  LOVE IT!

The challenge, of course, will be to make it work without being either too feminine or too masculine.  I think the "vintage" look will allow us to do that, sprinkling in a little that's girly and a little that's rough and tumble.  My goal here is to give the kids a room that they'll be able to grow in and - fingers crossed - still feel comfortable in five years from now.  

We'll see!  I'm excited about the thought of getting started on this special space for our little sweeties.  I'll keep you posted on the progress... {bearing in mind the goal is summer, don't hold your breath!}

Books to read in 2014

When I was in high school and college, I devoured books.  I read them adamantly.  Shakespeare, Chaucer, Austen, Steinbeck, King, Bronte - and that doesn't even begin to touch the books I read just because I love them (cough, Harry Potter 36 times).  

I could sit down with a book, read all day and have it finished before dinner.  The first Twilight - which I read as part of one of my Masters classes, because I have the best job in the world - I read in about 5 non-stop hours.  And if I recall correctly, the second I closed it there was a late-night Barnes and Noble run for the second.

Ahhhh, those were the days...

Two children in, I can't even remember the last time I read a book start to finish without a massive chasm of interruption and tasks to complete until I can't recall the names of the characters, let alone the plot of the story.

Partly, it's because I'm a snob.  I want to read a book that I absolutely fall in love with and can't put down.  These days, I totally judge a book by its cover.  If I'm not convinced I'm going to love it, I instantly decide it's not worth my investment of time.  I used to love going to the library, picking up a book at random and reading it just for the heck of it.  Anymore, that idea seems like a gigantic waste of energy.

But the time has come that I miss reading, and so one of my goals for the year is to do it a little more often.  Because, let's face it, my days of reading are limited again; come August, my brain will be mush and I'll go back to collapsing into bed completely and totally spent - if I'm even that lucky.  

So here's the list.  I'm starting small, they're books I'm pretty sure I can get through - even though they're a far cry from, you know, Shakespeare and Bronte of my days of yore...

No time like the present to start prepping.  I'm seriously hoping the library has this one, since on Amazon it can be mine for the low, low price of $58.99.  Yeah - that's not happening!

One of my greatest goals in parenting.  Whatever else happens, if I raise kids who love God and love each other, mission = accomplished.

'Cause... so cool.  Nuff said.

Sally Clarkson is my hero.  I absolutely adore her wisdom, humor and commitment to raising whole, Godly children.  I read this one, and if you haven't, borrow my copy!  You won't regret it!

Because, well, teen fiction has never failed me before...

So there you have it!  Five books in the next 7 months.  Once upon a time, I would have scoffed at that number, but sadly I'm pretty sure it's close to the same number of books I've read since Leah's been born, if you don't count kids' books.  I get an A in kids books, so that's not nothing... right? 

How about you?  Any suggestions for this outta-the-game-gal?  Any books you're dying to read?

We interrupt your regularly scheduled crazy to bring you: Extra Crazy.

Things have gotten a little Alice down the rabbit hole at my house recently.

In fact, it's kind of a wonder that I haven't already had an enormous hole dug under my garage to fill with one of those overlarge doomsday bunker types, complete with dozens of jugs of water and 300 cans of spam.  In fact, to listen to the news, we're pretty sure the Zombie apocalypse will be breaking out any day now.

Everybody is sick.  Sick, sick, sick.

As far as I'm concerned, the entire world is breaking out in mysterious fever, and green snot flows rampant in the streets.  If you haven't heard, you'll probably want to panic now.

In our house, Logan was the first to go down with a fever and a cough.  He was lucky; he got antibiotics on account of an ear infection.  Unfortunately, he took me down pretty quickly after that, and I get no assistance.

I have to admit, I've been sick during the first trimester of each of my pregnancies.  To the advice of no one, I got H1N1 with Leah after being told sagely by every doctor and several random bystanders, just don't get H1N1!  Whatever you do!  Otherwise the space-time continuum will collapse and the world as we know it will be over! (As if any teacher is capable of "just not getting" whatever her snotty little students have.  I'll get right on that.  For the record?  A little Tamiflu and everything was fine, poo-poo to those catastrophic H1N1-is-the-end-of-the-world predictions.)

With Logan, I had the stomach flu, which was exactly as fun as you'd imagine.  It's okay, it's just morning sickness.  On steroids.    

Second to the stomach flu, though, this was was the worst.  I didn't have a fever, but I felt absolutely miserable.  I could hardly get out of bed and walk downstairs, it was rough.

Just as I thought we were in the clear, Miss Leah got it too.  First the cough.  Then the fever.  And then things really started going south.  When we took her to the doctor, they were unsure about the possibility that it might have turned into pneumonia.  She had two nights where she couldn't sleep at all because her cough was so persistent and miserable; by the third night, I watched her sleep and her labored breath, interrupted by violent coughing spasms and decided she was really in big trouble.

We're lucky that there's a Children's Hospital just a few miles from our house.  We brought her in, which is a blessing and a curse all in one.  Because, once you get into the hospital, it's not always easy to get out again.

It has been so hard to watch my sweet little girl sit in that big hospital bed and have to endure all kinds of things that are weird and uncomfortable.  It's definitely a reality check: how do people endure this long-term?  How do you get through it when it's something much more serious than slightly low oxygen levels?

So, even though we've been here for two nights and Leah is getting anxious and frustrated with the situation, even though Logan has been at home without Mommy, Daddy or Sissy and I haven't seen much of him in two days, I have to say that I'm grateful for all this craziness. Grateful that we live in a time when fixing these "simple" ailments is easy and not a potential death sentence.  Grateful especially that this is the first time in nearly four years that we've been to the hospital, and that we'll get to leave in a short amount of time.

All of this has been a bit surreal.  I certainly appreciate how lucky we are to be able to go back to our reality, rather than having this be our reality.

And maybe that doomsday bunker isn't such a bad idea after all.  Spam, though... that's never going to be a winner.

First trimester: The pie chart edition

Hello!

What have I been up to for the first week of 2014?  Well, I'm so glad you asked!  

I've been a little incapacitated, but I thought that some super-nerdy charting action would make up for it.  And so, I present to you...

Ta-Da!  As experienced by yours truly, the first trimester, divided out all accurate and geeky-like. 

I mean, sure, I could also tell you about the memory loss.  Like that time when I was at Chipotle (see the red category above, only this time hubby wasn't available) ordering my much-dreamed about carnitas burrito with black beans, rice, verde and corn salsa, lettuce, cheese and... and my mind drew a complete and total blank.  I could see it in front of me, but where once there was a word that defined it, there were now only several little dust bunnies.  And they were pointing and laughing, just for good measure. 

You know, that green stuff...

Whatsitcalledagain?  That green stuff that's not salsa.  It's kinda thick.  It's made from avocados (hey, that's a pretty good word! I'm not totally crazy!)

Luckily, as the impatient mouthbreather behind me began inching closer, invading my personal space - HEY! Back off, dude, you're not going to make me move any faster by sighing and breathing on me.  That's right, I smell that Coors Light at 4:37 in the afternoon, take it down a notch! - my pathetic look and wild pointing must have done the talking for me.

"Guacamole?" says the lady behind the counter as I shoot her a relieved look and nod furiously.  YES!  Guacamole!  Thank God there's a word for it in someone else's brain!

Or, I might add that the crying isn't limited to commercials.  Or TV, for that matter.  It could be the neighbor children playing outside; a song on the radio; a comment from my sweet Leah.  Sheer exhaustion.  Casey making a run because I asked for something (red category again).  Yellow category, for sure.  Heck, the green category has been at fault more than once if I'm being totally honest.

Or, really, the waterworks can begin for no apparent reason at all, which of course makes me look even more like a mental patient than I already feel, particularly when you add my very intense new-found love of sweatpants and lying horizontally on the couch.  At 10:00 in the morning.  ...  Aaaaand maybe also at 3:30 in the afternoon.  Really, name a time throughout the day and I'll probably find a way to make it horizontal-in-sweatpants o'clock (see also: big blue category above).

In the past, I would have ended with some comment about gratitude and how worth it this all is.  I haven't changed my tune, exactly, it's just much harder to feel that way with two little ones running around, what with their needing to be fed and have attention paid to them, and the fact that they're not nearly as excited about sweatpants or being ignored while I lay horizontally.

It's weird, really... almost as if they're not all that impressed that Mommy's growing a human.

So we've been really lucky that Casey has been home - up until this week, anyway - and that he's not afraid to pay it forward by single-parenting.  I'm awfully lucky to have that husband of mine.

I'm lucky too because I know that in just a few short weeks, most of this craziness will go away.  Maybe not the pointing helplessly because I've randomly blanked on a word, but certainly the sweatpants and need to be horizontal, at least for a while...

Yes, in a few short weeks, I'll forget again all the reasons I'm currently stocking up that no one in their right mind would ever go down this road another time.  That baby will start to move in my belly, and true love will again be upon me.

Actually, even as I think about that soon-to-be moment, I've decided that maybe the first trimester's really not so bad after all...

New Years has changed a bit

For all the years I've known Casey, there has been New Years breakfast.

The tradition began when I was a freshman in college.  We hadn't even officially begun dating yet (though we would, only a few hours later - which made it shortly past midnight, brand-newly January 2, 2003) and we were still in that awkward "hanging out" phase of life.  We spent our first New Years watching 2002 come to an end as I was introduced to a menagerie of friends and acquaintances, and the next day we went with many of those who would ultimately become "our group" to Ihop for some good old fashioned, greasy New Years day breakfast.

Though many things have changed, the tradition stuck.  Oh how I wish I had a photo of us on that day all those years ago, it would be absolutely priceless.  Too bad we'd had a wee bit too much Koolaid the night before for anything with a flash to have sounded like a good idea.  I do believe it was the first time I'd ever met Jessica, and that situation sure turned out pretty okay...

Fast forward twelve New Years breakfasts:

Ihop simply no longer holds us!

This year, "our group" included 5 babies who did not exist at this time last year.  At last year's Ihop table, there were only 4 little ones; this year we had 9.

So we moved it to a house where the little ones could run around and cry and make a ruckus without it troubling any college coeds who'd partaken in too much Koolaid the night before.

Despite the ups and downs we experienced in our relationship through the years, Casey and I have never missed a New Years breakfast.  And though some have come and gone from year to year, overwhelmingly neither have those folks up there.

It is pretty incredible to think that all those years have turned strangers into best friends, seen boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, turned girlfriends into wives and wives into mothers.  The evolution has been pretty amazing so far, and we feel incredibly lucky and blessed to call them friends.

And then, of course, there's these faces:

The oldest will be 10 in March, followed by Leah (4 in March), James (2.5), Logan (16 mo), Nicholas (8 mo), Lauren (6 mo), Piper (4 mo), Theo (4 mo) and Greg (3 mo).  Which, of course, is not remotely the order in which they're sitting on this couch, but we'll work on it.

It's a pretty great way to begin 2014. We can't wait for many more!