Stepping out in faith: the day she got baptized

There are really no words sufficient, so I'll just let you watch:

This child of ours has been asking for over a year to be baptized.  She started asking last spring, when she was just barely 5.  She wanted to be baptized, and she wanted her daddy to do it.  And, in her typically Leah way, she was adamant about it. 

I am so very proud of the way she has grown in her faith.  

I know that there is sometimes controversy over when to baptize a child.  There were a few criteria I used to evaluate whether she was ready.  

1) She made a clear faith commitment independent of me, expressing not only her love for the Lord but also her understanding of her need for Him as a Savior.  Although I helped facilitate the conversation, the convictions were all hers.

2) Her desire to be baptized was not based on wanting to do something because she thought it was "cool," but desiring to express her obedience to the Bible and her faith.  

3) Our whole world is geared toward honoring God.  God is at the center of literally everything we do in our home, so I've had plenty of opportunities to watch how Leah has grown and matured in her faith.  Obviously, she isn't done on that front, but I have watcher her "get" Biblical principles through discipleship in a way that is powerful.  I am fully content in the choice to affirm her faith, even at a young age, knowing that we have and will continue to follow it up with action.  

In the book of James, we get the wise advice to "be do-ers of the Word, not hearers only" (James 1:22).  Because it is in line with Biblical principles, and because our little girl's heart so longed to follow in obedience, Casey and I felt good about letting her express her faith in such a powerful, public way.  In the same way that I believe each child has a unique and individual educational trajectory, I believe we should honor each child and meet them where they are in their spiritual walk.  We may not always allow our children to be baptized this early, but Leah?  

She was ready.

Leah truly has a heart that loves the Lord.  I can't wait to watch where His mighty plans will take her!  It is such a delight to be her mom!

Every good and perfect gift

As I sat in my rocker, cradling my giant belly and enjoying my nightly quiet time with Livvy, who was invariably making her presence known from the inside, I used to whisper to her verses, song lyrics, sweet affirmations and stories that came to my mind.

The nursery was peaceful in the quiet of night, with the day's tasks done - or done enough - and the other two sleeping soundly in their beds.  It was a moment of peace, a moment for me to pray, reflect and speak blessings over my tiny one.  And every night, always, the verse that came to mind to end our time together was this one from the book of James: 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, 

coming down from the Father of heavenly lights who does not change like shifting shadows. 

Now, this verse hangs in her nursery, above the changing table.  

There are so many good and perfect gifts that He gives us to celebrate.  So many moments in the lives of our children that we can delight in.  So many opportunities to plant wonderful memories deep within their souls to store up and treasure for the rest of their life's journey.  

Halloween and Christmas always stand out for me among holidays for the fun and joy they bring, but really, Thanksgiving is a magical time of cherished traditions and marvelous reflection.  I absolutely love the model of joyful service.  The sights and smells of a meal truly prepared with love.  The bustling of family members.  The rhythm of the year played out in familiar traditions which remind us that we are simultaneously unique and that we belong to one another.

This Thanksgiving was such a wonderful time of fellowship and togetherness. 

We enjoyed our traditional Thanksgiving breakfast (Casey's favorite - "Awesome Breakfast") and the kids watched the parade and played while I prepared the meal. 

I love to prepare food for my family.  I know that in some ways, it seems like a silly little thing, but the truth is that it brings me such genuine joy.  

And, a first for us - and not just at Thanksgiving, but for pretty much any event we put on - we were actually ready ahead of schedule this year!  That's a huge victory!  We're usually rushing and running around frantically at the last second to have it all done.  Instead, this year I actually had time to get dressed and put on makeup - what a concept!

We were blessed this year to be joined by our friends, the Bratchers, whom we've known for about a year and a half.  Leah and Grant were in class together last year where they became fast friends.  Grant's mom Lindsey and I became good friends, too, and I'm so grateful to have such a fantastic friend on this homeschooling journey!

They were supposed to travel to see family this year, but as it turns out, she is expecting twins and wasn't up to the trip.  Which sure worked out wonderfully for us!

We were joined by my sister, brother in law and their two boys, my mom, and Casey's parents as well, and it was just such a fun time of togetherness.  It was a snowy Thanksgiving, but for me that always adds to the cozy atmosphere.

The kids were so cute, and exhausted themselves running around and around and around the house. It was adorable to hear their sweet, exuberant laughter as they played and chased each other.  

I hung the chalkboard with this garland, made up of photos of all of our family as babies or kids, but Casey had the great idea to have everyone write something that they are thankful for. 

There was A LOT to be thankful for this year in our family!  We hope that you had a blessed Thanksgiving, and that we all remember throughout the year just where those blessings come from.  

Great and tiny heritage.

 

During my devotional last night, I was asked to consider the following verse as it applies to motherhood:

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him."

Psalm127:3

 

I wanted to share my response.  In no way is it meant to be preachy.  I'm posting it in the hopes that it will encourage someone who is struggling with some of the same things I am struggling with on their mother's journey.

 

This verse reminds me of what a sacred bond exists between mother and child.  Not simply a gift or a joy, but a very intentional, divinely-inspired pairing.  My job here is not little - "to whom much is given, much is expected."  My approach, then, must always have God as the foundation.  Love, service, integrity, honesty, grace and prayer.  To love in the way God intended: with patience, kindness, selflessness, hope and perseverence. 

 

Emphasis for mothering small children: PATIENCE AND SELFLESSNESS.

 

These precious ones are not burdens - no, not even when Leah throws all her shoes on the floor or runs a sink full of water and fills it with toilet paper or Logan wakes up four times in five hours.  They are my gifts, my heritage and reward from the Lord.

 

The prayer of my mother's heart:

Lord God, please instruct me in your ways so that I might love as you have loved me.  That I may put aside my own desires and instincts to give love and guide with wisdom while expecting nothing in return.  Thank you, thank you for my two beautiful blessings. 



Don't worry, I've got this. -God

Clarity.

Typically, I feel like I have a strong sense of what the "right" thing to do in planning for our lives is.  I may not always be able to control the when's or how's, but I tend to know the what's. 

With this house hunt issue, I've been a complete and total wreck. 

Price point?  Location?  Size of house?  Number of bedrooms?  Schools nearby?

I've had no answers - none.  Each time I came up with a "solution" to one problem, it seemed to create three new issues in other areas.

Then, we came across what seemed like the perfect house.  It was HUD owned, meaning basically a foreclosure, but the bones of the house were awesome and the location was perfect.  Not to mention, our last house started as a forclosure, and for whatever reason, Casey and I really enjoy the challenge of renovation. 

We put in an offer ($20k above asking, no less), and were outbid.  Handily.

This was a pretty low point for me, because I wasn't sure where to go next.  That house just seemed to answer all of those questions on which I was totally lost.  It was back to feeling like I had no idea what the next step should be.

To my surprise, another HUD-owned property in the same neighborhood, just a few blocks over in fact, came on the market not too long afterward.  There was one catch, though: it's listing price was much, much more expensive.

Knowing that the house would need literally thousands of dollars in work before we could even move in, I put in a lowball bid that I knew would never be accepted.  I mean, really.  If we'd lost one at $20k over asking, what hope did we have when the offer wasn't even asking?  Casey hadn't seen the property, but a great house in this neighborhood was just too good not to try.

Over the next few days, I didn't think about it again.  I told Casey what I had done and he agreed it was a good move because we loved the neighborhood, but I assured him we'd never get it.  We kept looking, but only half-heartedly.  Nothing seemed to be right.  We finally agreed to give it up until after the baby is born.  It's just too much stress at a time when we should be focusing on our little family.

He had just e-mailed this very thing to our realtor when she wrote back with some unexpected news:

No problem if you're ready to stop looking, but your bid was accepted.

Um... whaaaat???  I was in total shock.

My mind immediately jumped to all the reasons we needed to be cautious.  With a decision this important on the line, I couldn't afford to be swept up in the emotions of wanting that house.  Not to mention, of course, my husband needed to actually see it...

So off we went.  Leah and I drove from my mom's, while Casey met us from the office.

As I have been doing over this whole issue, I prayed a lot of the way up to the house.  I just kept asking God to give me wisdom and discernment to know His will.  Not to be caught up in what I want, but giving me eyes to see what move He would have me make.  I told him that I trust him, whatever the answer should be.

As I was praying these words to God, and literally as we drove the last 3 minutes leading to the driveway, this song came on the radio.  I might add that it was the third time that day I'd heard the song, as if a very clear message were being sent.  The proverbial neon sign that I've prayed for, given my total lack of clarity. 

It played until I pulled into the driveway, and by that time, I was in tears, overwhelmed with what I felt was a very clear message.
The news once inside just got better and better with every breath.  Every potential pitfall that I had come up with to worry about not only melted away, but the deal kept getting sweeter and sweeter until it was absolutely clear (as if it hadn't already been): this was our house. 

I am still in awe at the way God moves, and how He delivers in ways that are bigger than what I could have dreamed.  The final hurdle is our inspection, which will happen next week, but if everything looks good, we'll be taking ownership in about 30 days, and moving in shortly after the baby is born.  WOW.

I feel blessed to have quite a lot of miracles in my life: my wonderful husband, beautiful daughter, soon to be son; among them I have to count this fantastic home in which to keep all those precious treasures. 

The long way home

In addition to processing verbally, I process musically.

I don't know if anyone else has this, but I am moved to my very soul by music.  It touches me in a way that so few other things in life do. 

I knew I was pregnant after 8 months when I heard this song on the radio.  I don't quite know that I can explain it any better than this, but I know in my heart: God spoke to me, right there in my car when this song came on.  I had to pull over and cry, because I felt it.  I knew that this time was different from all those other disappointing no's. 

It seems I have something of a love affair with Steven Curtis Chapman when it comes to big life messages.

So today, after finding out that we lost the house - the one I wanted, the one I felt sure was our next house - all I could think about was this song:

"'Cause our God has made a promise

And I know that everything He says is true

And I know wherever we go, He will never leave us

'Cause He's gonna lead us home."

I'd like to tell you that I've learned my lesson about faithfulness.  I hope it's true, and frankly I hope God never puts me to the test.  So this summer, I'm going to do what I should have done all last summer - I know that God is faithful and that He always provides.  I know that I've been blessed beyond measure, and that if this door has closed, there is a good reason for it.

I may not know what it is yet, but this time it's not going to shake me. 

Every single step of the long way home.  

The power of prayer

Guess what? 

Remember when we all stopped and said a little prayer about the month of December?  Well, just in case there was ever any doubt: God answers prayers!!!

6 weeks and 5 days.  One day earlier and .06cm smaller than our first glimpse of Leah!

More on our little Christmas miracle to come, but for now I have to say a whole world of THANK YOUs to everyone who has put up with me through this struggle, and who took time to pray for us. 

We're still not quite ready to announce this to the world, but my confidence in this pregnancy is solid.  This is our baby!!!  I've even got a due date and a doctor's note saying everything looks great. 

We'll be eagerly awaiting our much-anticipated, special little bundle on August 31st, 2012.  Grateful doesn't even begin to cover my emotions on this front. 

Best Christmas ever?  I certainly think so!  (Alright, I'll settle for second best.  You know, behind that very first one...)