We forgot to "break"

Hello my lovely internet friends!

Spring break was this week, and I was fortunate to have hubby around for a little vacation.

Wait, I said that wrong.  It should have read, "vacation."  Yes - the air quotes are definitely necessary.  Kind of like the air quotes that belong around "maternity leave."  As if you've taken a break from work.  Ha, ha.

But I digress.

In short, we've been busy. 

Now, please let me just get this off my chest: Done is a word I don't think we'll ever apply to our house.  Maybe sometime in the next five years, but certainly not this year.  There are simply too many projects on our list, and unfortunately I'm anxious to get at least the basics covered before we worry about the finer details. 

What I'm trying to say is, this will be a work in progress for a long time.  You'll see flaws.  This is real life, peeps, not a magazine. 

But, here is a little preview of the two big projects we've undertaken this week, in between grocery shopping, diaper changing, nursing, nap-timing, bathing, and {you know}... life:

Project #1

 

Project #2

More to come on these.  One is much closer to being finished photo ready than the other, but we're working on it.  One thirty in the morning is only an option every so often...

Birthday party in the making

Details.  My favorite part of every party. 

Mostly because it's these details that swim around in my brain like goldfish circling their bowl for months in advance.

A few thoughts on prepwork:
1) Invest in a few tools.  I LOVE my paper cutter.  Best $25 I've ever spent.  Also important?  A 2-inch scalloped punch and a 1.5 inch circular punch, available at any craft store.  Years off my life instead of cutting 24 tiny circles.
2) Always, always, always practice before the big day.  Otherwise, you too will have ugly frosting that didn't set properly and chunked coming out of the frosting bag.  Stupid butter that didn't cream.
3) Set your table ahead of time.  That way, when people show up 30 minutes early, you're not scrambling to pretend like you have it all together.  You actually have it all together. 
4) I prefer colors to an actual theme.  Themes get kitchy.  Colors tie everything together without being too over the top.

The How To's

Printables
Sooo simple, so effective.  I drew inspiration from these, but I like to DIY because they're super easy.  I have a digital scrapbooking program called My Memories Suite, which I absolutely love.  For the first two birthdays, this program was enough.  A rectangle here, simple circle there and my 2inch punch and, bada-bing, instant party. 

 

 

 

 

The program was still good for a few things.  These turned out pretty cute:

 

But otherwise, the program had about run it's course.  Not that it's bad, it's just that I've outgrown it.  I've learned enough and come to need more than simple circles.

Enter Casey and Photoshop. 

First: Use google images to search for a desired background.  This is the free method.  For a small price, search "digital papers" or find them on Etsy in your desired color or pattern.  I am absolutely enamoured of this - the possibilities are endless!

Second: Set the paper as your background.  Then, add elements as desired on top of the digital paper in 1.5 inch diameters.  The scalloped punch will cut out 2 inches, so you'll have the bordered effect you see below.

Another way to do this would be to scallop punch just the 2-in background, and use the 1.5-in circle punch to cut out the message.  Then use foam glue dots (another favorite of mine) to adhere the two together for a multi-layer look.  I didn't have time to do this one, but it's awesome.

Third: Let's talk fonts.  Standard fonts will only get you so far.  Fortunately, there are LOTS of free options.  I'm especially loving this one, and the whole website generally.  They install easily, they are super fun, and they're free.  I'm so all about free.  I used this on the milk bottles.  Also free, also completely adorable. 

Last: After they are printed and punched, use lollypop sticks and adhere the topper. 

One final thought: It's easy to get carried away with birthday parties.  I know that my daughter doesn't care if she has personalized milk bottles with striped straws I spent hours searching the internet for.  And all the rest of those details that kept me up until the wee hours for days in a row?  She could take or leave, so long as there's cake.  I had to double check my motives this time around - who was I really doing this for? 

The truth is that, although I do love this stuff, that moment when she walked downstairs, awed by the birthday - her birthday - took my breath away.  Brought tears to my eyes.  She felt special.  She felt grateful.  That's why I do this.  That's why I spend hours designing and cutting out stupid cupcake toppers. 

She may not remember this birthday, but as she grows up I hope she'll remember feeling like she had a mother who loved her, and deeply wanted all her birthdays to be special ones.  That day three years ago?  It was the most special day of my whole life. 

There will be diapers

There will not be a nursery, designed with loving care.

There will not be new bedding, picked out by a mommy who knew it was "the one."

There will not be a brand new crib.

There will not be hoardes of new clothes, because, let's face it: Auntie Jess already had a boy. 

There will not be a house to call our own.

But, as of today, there will be diapers.

And because I want to make sure that there can be a mommy at home full time, we're going a direction I never, ever imagined we would go.  You may be looking at the last diapers we'll ever buy. 

Yes, we're going green.  Or - more likely - brown.  After a lot of research, we settled on Rumparooz, which have a fabulous reputation in the hiney-covering department.  I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous about this new adventure. 

At the same time, though, it gave me such satisfaction to pick these babies up!  With everything else so up in the air and the arrival of this baby coming up so quickly, I have horrible guilt over all the things Leah had in place which he will not.

But, by golly, he will have diapers.  And three people who love him to pieces.

What else does he need, really?

A road map and a neon sign

So it's really happening. 

We're actually moving. 

I suppose that, for some people, the whole SOLD! sign would have indicated this.  But somehow, I've failed to believe it for the past month or so.  It didn't hit me until we were packing up the boxes.

Yes, our house is now roughly 22% travel-ready.  Mostly due to the efforts of my lovely husband, as it takes me three times as long as it should.  Not only because I'm pregnant, but also because everything makes me super nostalgic and I have to sit and cry before boxing it up.

Pregnancy hormones?  Whew - glad I dodged that bullet!

Not to mention, we still don't have a permanent place to unpack all of these boxes.

This is the part I'm really, really not good at.  I'm a planner.  I have been my whole life.  I'm the kind of person who knows exactly what she wants, carefully weighs all the options, figures out the most efficient way of getting there and works with every fiber in my being to do so.

That's why I sucked so hard at the whole getting pregnant thing.  There's absolutely no way to plan, predict, work hard for or control when that would happen. 

The story is much the same on the house front.  We've had two offers in and both have been out-bid.  Not a thing I can do about that.  Can't plan or work for getting a house - at least, not in this market.

I'm committed this time around to praying diligently and trying hard to listen to where God would have us go.  I'm genuinely seeking, knowing that He has always provided for us in bigger ways than we could have ever hoped.  But the answers right now don't seem very clear or obvious.

So, God: I'll totally go where you want me to be.  Truly.  It's just that I'd prefer a road map and a neon sign in case I get lost.  Cool?

For now, we're going home to stay with my mom.  I feel so lucky that this is an option, and I think it makes the most sense given all the other things that are going on.  It will be a huge blessing not to have to be alone with a two year old in my third trimester when Casey goes out of town. 

It will be equally as big a blessing not to have to pay rent, as this is one expensive baby we're having.  (That's a conversation for another time, but let's just suffice it to say that my pregnancy has spanned two insurance plan years.  Good times.)  Seriously, he'd better either be really worth it, or poop gold. 

I know that there is a lot of good coming out of this situation if I choose to see it that way. 

But it's definitely a challenge for me to tame all those unknowns and could be's.

Summer Bucket List

I'm a list maker.  I'm also a binder-organizer, color-coder and label maker; really, they all go hand-in-hand. 

This summer, whether because I'm pregnant or I've simply used up my creativity, I'm finding myself out of creative ideas for what to do with these days I've so looked forward to.

So in an effort to get back on the I-Love-Summer bandwagon, here is our summer bucket list.  Some of these, I am absolutely sure, simply will not get accomplished due to timing of... other... life events.  But these are the things I am most excited and most looking forward to (hopefully) doing during the next three months:

1. Go to the zoo.  A LOT.
2. Take a hike.  The easy, toddler/pregnancy friendly kind.
3. Make our own lemonade. 
4. Stop by the farmer's market (perhaps for said lemonade ingredients?)
5. Play in the backyard pool.  Bonus if we get a slip and slide and/or other miscellaneous fun water toy.
6. Take walks daily.
7. Go camping. (Let's face it: this is the one that probably won't happen.  Casey working, house moving, third-trimestering.  'Nough said.)
8. Make S'mores!
9. Serve my patriotic crumble cake, which didn't get made last year.  Casey reminds me of this weekly.
10. Find a preschool curriculum to use with Leah.  Goal: 5 words read at the end of summer (besides Leah and Elmo, which she can already read.  You know, the important ones.)
11. Make something disgustingly fun with playdough.
12. Spend time in Colorado Springs.  The Zoo?  Garden of the Gods?  Cave of the Winds?  Something fun and out of the ordinary.
13. Eat watermelon.  Lots and lots of it.
14. Go to WaterWorld at least twice a month. 
15. Two words: Play dates.
16. Draw with sidewalk chalk.
17. Ride on a carousel and/or Ferris Wheel.
18. Date night to a baseball game.
19. Play miniature golf.
20. Find at least one great new summer recipe.
21. Watch fireworks with the little on July 4th.  But can she stay awake that late??
22. Potty train the kid (ahhh, this too may be wishful thinking)
23. Blow a really, really big bubble.
24. Complete a photography challenge, and attend the photography classes Casey got me for Mother's Day
25. Stay up really late (like 8:00!) and go out for icecream cones in our jammies. 

Besides, we're already one down: today was our second (yep, second) trip to the zoo.  I told you we like to go a lot!

Oh yeah.  I forgot finding a house, moving and of course, having a baby.  I'm thinking it will be a busy summer around these parts! 

What's on your summer bucket list?

Big Sisters.

Everyone warns me about what a struggle it will be fore Leah to adjust.  You know, to the whole big sister gig. 

I'm not saying they're wrong.  It's not like either of us have done this before, and there is no denying that she is a momma's girl. 

She is also incredibly sweet, nurturing and empathetic by nature, and ridiculously excited to be a big sister.  She loves Baby Peanut to pieces.  Truly.  She sings to him at night, asks to give my belly kisses and talks about him non-stop.

Granted, he hasn't yet tried to take any of her toys or snag Mommy time when she wants my attention, but still.

Even so, we wanted to help prep her for this big transition. 

The idea came to me like a year ago when we were first trying.  That girl loves books, and she has always learned a TON from them. 

So I created:

Ahhh, bless Shutterfly.  And free deals that allowed me to make this beautiful book for a grand total of $8.  I have to say, it turned out pretty awesome. 

Left to my own devices, I would take pictures of every page and post them.  Since that seems a little excessive, here's a little sneak peak:

Hopefully it will be one of those things that eases her transition into big sister-hood.  I know she'll never really "get" it until he actually gets here, but my prayer for these two little ones is that they will have a special bond right from the start. 

'Cause the truth is, whether she's ready or not, her time as an only child is coming quickly to an end. 

I have every faith that she's going to do beautifully.

I am a tad OCD and other maternal realizations

I had a realization about motherhood this weekend.

After attending three different events and encountering three completely different sets of people, with three completely different sets of expectations about the way my motherhood should be executed, it hit me:

There's really no right way to do this.

Motherhood, that is.  (Alright, so I'm a little slow on the uptake.  Seems like the 4.0, college - no, Masters - grad should figured this out a little more quickly.)

It hit me on my third round of "oh you shoulda..."

...as in, "Oh, you shoulda brought the pack and play!  You could have put her to bed here!  Don't want to let her get too well-routined, she'll start to run your life!"
..."Oh, you should take that plastic spoon away from her so she doesn't trip and ram it into her brain and bleed all over our lovely brickwork."
..."Oh, you shoulda stayed home!"  (Insert look of judgement.)  "It's important for children to have routine so they don't turn out socially imbalanced and odd."

Whereas I would never take the pack and play, because I know that Leah doesn't do well in unfamilliar situations and wouldn't settle down for bed.

Whereas I elected to let her play with the plastic spoon, because nothing else at the event was small-child friendly and it's really, really unfair of me to tell a nearly-15-month-old NO at every.single.turn. when she's just behaving like a nearly-15-month-old. (Besides, at this BBQ she had already picked up and licked a rock.  I mean, come on.  Plastic spoon, or rock?!)

Whereas I got her home a little past her bed time so we could attend the event at all.  Besides, wasn't I just accused of letting Leah "run my life" by someone else?  Now I'm too liberal on the rules?

In other words, my version of motherhood is never going to look just like someone else's.  I refuse to accept that my version is any less valid, however. 

Doesn't make me perfect. 

Doesn't make them.

So, in honor of my new revelation, here's my attempt at tackling this monumental task called raising up a person out of nothing, and a resource.

Yes, I recognize that I am a tad OCD.  Maybe more than a tad by some standards. 

Last summer, I stumbled upon a website called Inspired to Action that was all about the idea of professional, intentional motherhood.  Motherhood that tackles the job with the same passion and dedication that one might tackle, say, a JOB. 

I love it.  And it works for me. 

When I teach, I use the concept of backward design.  In short, I figure out what I want the kids to know and be able to do, I identify exactly what that looks like, and then I write daily lesson plans that address the big goals. 

This process of starting my mornings helps me to do just that with my motherhood.  Time to work out.  Time to study God's word.  Time to prayerfully and planfully begin my day and my week, and ensure that I'm taking time to address the big goals I want to address as a mom.  Otherwise, it's much too easy for me to lose sight of big goals in the fray of minute little tasks.

I've had to amend my list, too. 

Notice, nowhere on here does it say, "change diaper" or "put Leah down for her nap."  This is my list of BIG ticket items to accomplish each day.  I'm discovering that I can't always do that in between all that other stuff. 

But, it's something we're working on. 

And it helps me to ensure that my priorities are in there somewhere, too.  God.  Family.  Me.  All of these need to be tended and nurtured in order for my sanity to remain intact. 

So, with a nod to all the mistakes this mom is going to make along the way, here's hoping I can do a few things right. 

Even if I do let my daughter run with plastic spoons.

It's pink, because no other baby will use it

Confession.

I wanted to buy everything in pink from the moment I found out Leah was a girl.

The crazy part?  I've never even liked pink! 

I blame my mother.  She went off the deep-end and attempted to drown me in pink when I was a child.  So I revolted.  I liked green and purple and blue and yellow; anything that offered me a little variety.

And then that darn cake came back pink.

Somewhere deep inside me, a floodgate opened.  Suddenly I needed to define my baby.  She's a girl, and baby girls need pink. 

Not to mention, society has given us a wealth of opportunities to declare, "MY BABY IS A GIRL!" in everything from bedding, bouncers and high chairs, to wash rags, pack-and-plays, swings and so much more.  (And let's not even talk about the clothes, it's just too obvious.)

I restrained myself.  I went for the green bedding, a neutral pack-and-play, and a black car seat and stroller so that other hypothetical future babies would feel free to be boys, should God divine it that way.  That's just good planning, after all. 

But this?  This I couldn't resist.

Besides, as my husband reminded me as I debated about getting a neutral one... she's going to be sitting in some version of this carseat for the next 6 plus years. 

Realistically?  No other child of ours is going to use this car seat. 

So it's pink.  And I am quite happy about it. 

The fact that my baby is in a front-facing, big-girl car seat is a totally different story.

Goal(s)!

One of my most annoying best qualities is my ability to plan for the future and set goals.

Casey and I have been talking a lot about what we want our family to look like at this point in our lives, and a few weeks ago we sat down to get our priorities out on paper.

Now, I am also an organization junky, so setting aside some time for the two of us to sit down and get on the same page about our goals for our family was right up my alley! It was a good exercise, and in the end, we came up with this... our family mission statement.

Strassner Family Mission Statement

We commit to maintaining a strong, healthy and loving marriage that is the center of our family.
- We will maintain a regular date night twice per month
- We will communicate openly and effectively
- We will use that communication to establish goals, set priorities and parent as a team

We commit to raising our family with wholesome values that foster close-knit relationships.
- Our family believes that language is important and will pay attention to our words
- Our family believes in watching, listening to, and reading about things that encourage and enrich us
- Our family believes in contributing to making our household run as smoothly as possible
- Our family is committed to raising well rounded, well mannered, loving and happy individuals
- Our family encourages one another to be the best versions of themselves

We commit to nurturing traditions in order to strengthen our family bond.
- Sunday will be a day of regular, designated family time
- Twice each month, we will include extended family in Sunday brunch
- We will take a family vacation once per year
- We will select activities that get us out of the house at least three times per month – especially in summer/fall
- We will turn off the TV more often to better utilize family time together

We commit to setting a budget and making financially wise decisions that are in line with our family goals.
- Allow us to live off of a single income so that Melissa can stay home

We commit to thinking about what we put into our bodies and making healthy choices.
- We will eat out no more than once per week
- We will pack a lunch for work daily
- We will make organic baby food

Adventures in sleeping

For the past three nights, Leah has been sleeping in her crib.

Well... kind of.

Leah is adjusting fabulously to her new sleeping situation. Her mommy, on the other hand, not so much.

I have cried each night as I put my sweet, beautiful baby into a crib all by herself. What if she is too cold? What if she is too hot? What if she is lonely in that room all alone?

And it turns out, all those reasons are a bunch of crap.

The truth is, I'm not ready for Leah to be sleeping in a crib down the hall away from me.

So as a compromise, suggested by my wonderful and extremely patient husband, Leah has been coming into our room after her first feeding, usually around midnight.

And I have been staying up until midnight, because I can't seem to fall asleep until she's back in the room with us.

I'll get there...