Friday, February 3, 2017

30 weeks and the fourth time around

OHHHHH.... get ready!

Three fourths of this pregnancy have slipped by, and I haven't had a single chance to even talk about it.  Neither have I had the chance to pop through a wall and shout "OH YEAH!" like the Koolaid man, despite our obvious similarities, but hey... ten weeks left, right?

There's still time!

So many things have changed since that very first time I arrived at this milestone.  It's sometimes amazing to think of that naiive girl who quietly rocked her belly - the one she thought was SO BIG - and imagined what life might be like on the other side of the delivery room.  

I'm pretty sure she never imagined what was coming!

Let me just throw this out there for all time: I LOVE being pregnant.


I'm terrible at it.  

I got a little cocky this time around thinking that, after three remarkably similar pregnancies, I reasonably knew what to expect when I was expecting. 

Ha!  That's what I get. 

Instead of morning sickness that was unpleasant but manageable, this time around I encountered something the likes of which my body had never experienced.  Something I never even dreamed might be on the way.  Sickness that left me literally unable to get up off the floor of the bathroom at the worst of times, and at best unable to lift my head off the couch.  I had to call my mom - for the first time ever - to come and take care of kids because I honestly thought I might be dying.  I know, it sounds dramatic.  But if you'd seen her face when she saw me, well, you'd get it.

Our first glimpse of our little bundle.  No greater joy than a healthy heartbeat!

The world spun continually for two months.  I could hardly walk, sometimes for hours on end, without having to stop and steady myself. Just moving my eyes back and forth to read to the kids could produce a wave of nausea so intense, I would close my eyes and sit quietly with the light off in the bathroom. It was a mess.

I don't often think of myself as a super mom, but as I look back on it now, I'm truly not sure how I got us all through.  Casey was gone almost that entire time with literally only a few days (um... like five) at home, we had daily - and major - construction happening on the back of our house, homeschooling of two children plus the entertaining of a third, and Jacob had just started high school, in a new state, no less - something that was brand new to him and to us, since we've never dealt with a public school schedule before. 

It was a lot.  A lot.

But, somehow, not only did we make it through, everyone ended up thriving.  Our to do lists were always checked off, friends were met and made, homework was done, picnics were had, and smiles and laughter generally ruled the day.  The worst that can be said is that we ate out far more than I've ever done and the house got a little more untidy than usual.  Not too shabby, all things considered.

It was a huge blessing when the 2nd trimester began, and my physical load began to lift a bit. 

This baby is strong.  So, so strong and wiggly I sometimes can't believe it.  Based on several things at the very beginning of this pregnancy, I was initially convinced we were expecting a girl.  But as soon as he started moving, I switched teams and at this point I'm absolutely convinced I would have known he was a boy, even if we hadn't found out gender.  

This child is most definitely a boy.  

Livvy was sweet, mellow and dainty, both in life and in my belly. Leah was gentle and mellow. This one is raucous and full of energy. He is going to race full speed through the house and try to keep up with all of his big siblings.  He's going to hold his own as the youngest, and I'm convinced he's going to have a competitive nature.  He is the first of four to ever wake me up and keep me up in the middle of the night with his antics.  He makes my belly jump like I'm popping popcorn inside my uterus. 

I love him.  So, so, so much

This sweet baby has an awesome sleep pattern most of the time.  He has a period of crazy wakefulness from about 9-11 each night, and then cozies up and sleeps well until about four or five.  Please, Lord, let that schedule keep!

No matter how many we have, the best of my days begin and end with little hands and bodies snuggled into some part of me.  

The little three are absolutely loving mommy's pregnancy.  Logan's little eyes popped and became big and round the first time he really felt the baby kick.  Leah, my little mother, can't get enough of feeling her baby brother, and Livvy keeps blessing "new beebee" in her prayers.  They all sing to him and talk to him before bed. They named him.  Casey and I got out-voted. It is seriously the greatest thing of all time.  Even Jake has felt the baby wiggle. 

The most astounding part of all is that, no matter how difficult things get or what this demanding job calls for, there is always enough of me to go around.  Not that it is true - and certainly not that it feels that way - in every moment, but somehow, some way, in the end it is always true. 

I'd be remiss if I didn't also include this: I don't know where I would be without this man.  We would all be lost without him.  He is the very best husband and daddy, and we are so very lucky to call him ours.  

So here we go again.  Here's to the last time around. 

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