A road map and a neon sign

So it's really happening. 

We're actually moving. 

I suppose that, for some people, the whole SOLD! sign would have indicated this.  But somehow, I've failed to believe it for the past month or so.  It didn't hit me until we were packing up the boxes.

Yes, our house is now roughly 22% travel-ready.  Mostly due to the efforts of my lovely husband, as it takes me three times as long as it should.  Not only because I'm pregnant, but also because everything makes me super nostalgic and I have to sit and cry before boxing it up.

Pregnancy hormones?  Whew - glad I dodged that bullet!

Not to mention, we still don't have a permanent place to unpack all of these boxes.

This is the part I'm really, really not good at.  I'm a planner.  I have been my whole life.  I'm the kind of person who knows exactly what she wants, carefully weighs all the options, figures out the most efficient way of getting there and works with every fiber in my being to do so.

That's why I sucked so hard at the whole getting pregnant thing.  There's absolutely no way to plan, predict, work hard for or control when that would happen. 

The story is much the same on the house front.  We've had two offers in and both have been out-bid.  Not a thing I can do about that.  Can't plan or work for getting a house - at least, not in this market.

I'm committed this time around to praying diligently and trying hard to listen to where God would have us go.  I'm genuinely seeking, knowing that He has always provided for us in bigger ways than we could have ever hoped.  But the answers right now don't seem very clear or obvious.

So, God: I'll totally go where you want me to be.  Truly.  It's just that I'd prefer a road map and a neon sign in case I get lost.  Cool?

For now, we're going home to stay with my mom.  I feel so lucky that this is an option, and I think it makes the most sense given all the other things that are going on.  It will be a huge blessing not to have to be alone with a two year old in my third trimester when Casey goes out of town. 

It will be equally as big a blessing not to have to pay rent, as this is one expensive baby we're having.  (That's a conversation for another time, but let's just suffice it to say that my pregnancy has spanned two insurance plan years.  Good times.)  Seriously, he'd better either be really worth it, or poop gold. 

I know that there is a lot of good coming out of this situation if I choose to see it that way. 

But it's definitely a challenge for me to tame all those unknowns and could be's.

2/3rds finished

Baby size: Eggplant
1.5-2.5 lbs
13.5-14.5 inches long

Good news from my doctors visit: Peanut's head is down!  Waahooo!  While he hasn't dropped yet (a good thing), he is sitting nice and low.  Fingers crossed, we just might get to do this whole natural labor thing this time around!

I'm definitely carrying much lower than I was with Leah, although it's difficult to tell unless you put the photos side by side. 

The doctor advised me to start kick counting every day - making sure that he moves ten times in ten minutes.  Fortunately for me, I'm not super worried about this as this little one moves ten times in about 45 seconds. 

I've also started packing on the pounds - butt, thighs and that "love handle" area around the belly are all rounding out the way I remember from last time.  Not my favorite side effect, but totally worth it.  I'll definitely be making a date with Weight Watchers come August or September.  That's what I get for not running after my miscarriage; I missed my window and got the "no" on running during the first trimester - and now it's just too darn hard!

Belly button is still in, although it's more like flush against my belly.  Wedding rings are still on.  Face hasn't rounded out the way I know is coming.  No stretch marks.  Mood is happy.  Sooooo happy it sometimes moves me to tears.  Yes, that's back, and it's bliss as I haven't felt that way for a long while.

Also back are the nonstop trips to the bathroom.  My body clearly knew it was time, because exactly yesterday I began having to do the potty dance three times as frequently as usual.  Don't know if it's because my little man moved lower or simply starting trimester three, but I had forgotten how obnoxious lovely this symptom is.

I am so excited to be in the third trimester!  I can hardly contain my excitement to meet this little guy, and I absolutely adore these next 12 or so weeks.  I can't believe we've made it here.  Over a year after we started this journey, and now we're just 12 weeks away from meeting our sweet little miracle. 

My heart is so full right now.  We love you, sweet baby.  Grow strong, healthy and happy, and we'll see you soon!

Marvel

My tiny one is getting big enough that we can begin to feel the outline of his little body in my belly.  No doubt about it: this is my most favorite part. 

The part where I can't help but be awed.  There really is a human in there.  Not that I was unaware of this before; it's just that it is SO.INCREDIBLE to have the literal, undeniable physical proof.  I don't think I'll ever get over what a cool and special feeling it is.

So as I was looking over some pictures the other day, I also couldn't help but be awed. 

Spring 2010

Summer 2011

Summer 2012

How does that happen????

To go from just that ity-bitty, whose head was (still admitedly huge) no bigger than my comically, ridiculously overinflated boob into a real, legitimate... person?  

She's come an awfully long way from the days when I could feel the outline of her little body moving inside my belly. 

Sometimes truth is green. And squishy.

She squeezes the soft green goo through her fingers, a look of almost maniacal glee on her face.

"Look Mommy, it's a pancake!  It's a pancake!"

Repeating things twice for emphasis is part of her journey right now, and her obvious enthusiasm is catching.

"You want some, too?"  She asks, voice trilling high at the end to indicate her query, holding out a glob of playdough - which, for the record, in no way resembles a pancake - for me to sample.

Of course I take it, and make overly loud munching noises while holding the stuff far away from my mouth.

It's no fine line between pretend-eating and having a two year old with traces of green playdough between her teeth.

"Mmmm!" I enthuse, smiling and handing it back to her, "that is the best pancake I have ever had!"

We repeat the process: It's a cookie; now a snake.  We roll the ball mommy created back and forth across the table, watching it wobble to tell me that I clearly can't make a perfect sphere.  She smashes it and burries her little fingers in it and tears it apart and squishes it back together.

She's a symphony of motion, this beautiful child of mine.

Sometimes the motion lands her squarely in time out.  Sometimes the sweet voice turns demanding and whiny.  Sometimes the body I love to cradle flops, belly first, onto the floor in an act of simultaneous defiance and frustration. 

But much, much more often, I can't help but marvel at these moments I get to be home with her.  To witness the ordinary miracle that is her day.

Contemplative.

Silly.

Triumphant.

 

Mine.

Yes.  This is my life. 

Superficial? Yes. Still awesome.

Oh, wait.  Hang on.  There's something in the way. 

Let me try again...

There we go! 

I can't tell you how much better I feel about myself when my toes are painted!  Especially when it's summer and my little piggies are on display!

Summer Bucket List

I'm a list maker.  I'm also a binder-organizer, color-coder and label maker; really, they all go hand-in-hand. 

This summer, whether because I'm pregnant or I've simply used up my creativity, I'm finding myself out of creative ideas for what to do with these days I've so looked forward to.

So in an effort to get back on the I-Love-Summer bandwagon, here is our summer bucket list.  Some of these, I am absolutely sure, simply will not get accomplished due to timing of... other... life events.  But these are the things I am most excited and most looking forward to (hopefully) doing during the next three months:

1. Go to the zoo.  A LOT.
2. Take a hike.  The easy, toddler/pregnancy friendly kind.
3. Make our own lemonade. 
4. Stop by the farmer's market (perhaps for said lemonade ingredients?)
5. Play in the backyard pool.  Bonus if we get a slip and slide and/or other miscellaneous fun water toy.
6. Take walks daily.
7. Go camping. (Let's face it: this is the one that probably won't happen.  Casey working, house moving, third-trimestering.  'Nough said.)
8. Make S'mores!
9. Serve my patriotic crumble cake, which didn't get made last year.  Casey reminds me of this weekly.
10. Find a preschool curriculum to use with Leah.  Goal: 5 words read at the end of summer (besides Leah and Elmo, which she can already read.  You know, the important ones.)
11. Make something disgustingly fun with playdough.
12. Spend time in Colorado Springs.  The Zoo?  Garden of the Gods?  Cave of the Winds?  Something fun and out of the ordinary.
13. Eat watermelon.  Lots and lots of it.
14. Go to WaterWorld at least twice a month. 
15. Two words: Play dates.
16. Draw with sidewalk chalk.
17. Ride on a carousel and/or Ferris Wheel.
18. Date night to a baseball game.
19. Play miniature golf.
20. Find at least one great new summer recipe.
21. Watch fireworks with the little on July 4th.  But can she stay awake that late??
22. Potty train the kid (ahhh, this too may be wishful thinking)
23. Blow a really, really big bubble.
24. Complete a photography challenge, and attend the photography classes Casey got me for Mother's Day
25. Stay up really late (like 8:00!) and go out for icecream cones in our jammies. 

Besides, we're already one down: today was our second (yep, second) trip to the zoo.  I told you we like to go a lot!

Oh yeah.  I forgot finding a house, moving and of course, having a baby.  I'm thinking it will be a busy summer around these parts! 

What's on your summer bucket list?

27 Weeks

Baby size: Rutabega (how big is that, you ask?  No idea!)
13-14 inches, 1.5-2.5 pounds (still guessing on the larger side.  For sure.)
Weight gained: Um... no judgement? 18 pounds.  Yep.  It has definitely begun packing on in the last few weeks.

I love, love, love this phase! 

Our little man is strong - so amazingly strong and wiggley.  I do not remember Leah being this kind of wiggley, particularly this early.  Peanut makes my belly jump like crazy, and his kicks are so much more powerful than I remember Leah's being until the end of my pregnancy.  I am so curious to see if this plays out in his personality once he's out, because he truly feels so much stronger to me.

Just like his sister, he is such a good little buddy.  The doctors told me that a good rule of thumb is that when I'm moving, baby should be sleeping/stationary.  When I'm sedentary, baby moves.

This has been completely untrue in both my pregnancies.  Peanut seems to keep pace with me fairly well - when I move, so does he.  The only exception is about 7-8:30 or so in the evening, and when we read to him at bed time, when he nightly gets the wiggles. 

I haven't been able to pinpoint any foods or activities that bring on the wiggles.  Leah hated the car (actually, at the time I thought she loved the car.  She always got wiggly in the car.  It wasn't until she was born and screamed at the top of her lungs every time we got in the car that I came to think otherwise), and always, always wiggled after I ate blueberries or drank juice.  Peanut isn't quite that consistent. 

Evidently, the contractions I'm experiencing are just a result of my "irritable" uterus.  I didn't think that was such a nice thing to say - maybe it's irritable because the doc keeps speaking about it that way!

This week has been sooooo much easier.  My mood is better, my patience is improved, I have more energy - thank goodness for daytime naps and not working all day!  All pregnant women should be so lucky!!!! 

The contrast between sitting in interviews at 4:30 in the afternoon, contracting away and trying to pretend like I actually cared about what was being said while I was really trying not to let a person pop out of me, versus being able to sit, put my feet up and drink water when I have a contraction.  Ahhh, how different life is without a full time job! 

It's getting hard to believe how close we are to meeting this baby.  I'm going through a bit of an internal struggle, because I'm getting so excited to meet this little one and at the same time, trying to savor every day.  I know exactly how much I'll miss these precious moments once they're gone.

Next week: third trimester, baby!  You are much loved and eagerly awaited, Baby Peanut!