It has been one week since your daddy and I learned about your precious little life. Over that week, there are a few things that have grown exponentially (besides you!):
First is my sheer awe, amazement and gratitude that you are in there, getting bigger and becoming the little person that we so look forward to meeting in what feels right now like many months. I know already that it is the first of many miracles you will bless our lives with.
Second is the incredible, overwhelming love I feel for you. I laugh when I tell your daddy this, because today you are probably the size of some obscure little seed, and yet you are already the center of my world. Although my life is wonderful, blessed and happy, I have felt for some time like someone was missing from our family. You come to make me better; to make us better, your daddy and me and our family. Our little gift from God.
Sometimes the awesome responsibility of caring for something so precious is a little overwhelming. I overanalyze every single thing that happens to me throughout the day, and I run to a book or a website for reassurance that whatever it is is normal. So far I have avoided calling the nurse, and hopefully Mommy will learn to balance my fears and anxieties as I discover more about how you and I share my little body. You don't take up much room yet, so it is difficult to be sure that you're safe and comfortable and have everything you need.
My darling baby, one of the most wonderful, frustrating and incredible parts of life is its uncerainty. I take such joy in imagining you; what you will look like, whose eyes I will find staring back at me, what your voice will sound like. Of course, I can't wait to find out if we will be buying ballet slippers or football cleats (that's my clever way of saying I'm anxious to find out your gender. But know that you can do anything you want to do, whether you are a boy or a girl! Play an instrument, be a painter or a swimmer or a banker - we will support and love you whatever you choose). Just be healthy, and the rest will take care of itself.
As we continue this journey together for the next several months, there are a few things I promise you. I promise to always - ALWAYS - keep you safe. I promise to put your needs ahead of my own; to give you whatever you need to grow and be strong. Your daddy will tell you that I talk a lot, so you will definitely be hearing from me as soon as you're ready for that! I hope, though, that my voice will be a comfort to you, soothing and encouraging you - the first of many times I hope to do that throughout your life. I promise to be proud of you and rejoice in your accomplishments - even when all that means is that you've made me naseous. If nausea means you're growing strong, then I will take it (but just between us, let's agree right now to go easy on Mom, okay? Thanks.). More than anything else, I promise to love you unconditionally and with all of my heart. That's an easy one; I already do.
With affection and gratitude,
Your Mom
To My Darling, Fully Grown, Mother-To-Be, Child,
ReplyDeleteYour tender expression of love and hope and promise touches the Mother's place in my heart.
A Mother's Love
A Mother's love is something
that no on can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.
*Helen Steiner Rice
I would only add that a Mother's love does not make one perfect, but means that we always give the best that we are able.
Please know, little Strassner, you've been blessed with a GREAT Mom.