Wednesday, January 25, 2012

On contentment amidst anxiety.


Tomorrow is the day.  I said it almost two years ago: "It's baby day!" 

Back then, it was Leah's birthday.  Tomorrow, it's our first ultrasound.  Our first glimpse literally into the future.

I can't even begin to describe my anticipation.  To hear those first little beats and see that tiny figure that looks nothing like the miracle it will ultimately become.  My own level of absolute awe that, after 8 months of struggle and heartache, this day is about to be here. 

The beginning of this incredible journey.  My heart is bursting with joy.  Leah's baby brother or sister is in there, and I get to see him or her.

Yes, there is still that gnawing sensation that this could all be for nothing.  But it is outshined by my own faith and contentment.  It's not even a question; somehow, God and I are on the same page on this one.  I can feel it.  He has promised this baby to me, of this I am sure. 

At a time when my anxiety should be raging, it has faded to a whisper. 

We are delivering this baby.  And I'm even going one step further to predict that we're delivering it in September.  :)  In the mean time, I can't wait to enjoy the ride.

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