There are a few mind-boggling facts I've come to realize I'll simply never get used to. Chief among them: I can grow humans right in my body. It still seems like magic; too good to be true and certainly something that will prove wishful thinking when my eyes flutter open.
It's a miracle, this gift of bearing such intimate witness to something so wondrous.
It has been one year since you last lived inside me. Since I felt your flutters and stretches, your hiccups and wiggles. Since I wondered what you would look and sound like, and since I blessed that giant belly that housed you.
But the miracle of it all remains. The gift of you, just as you are, is the greatest of all my life's gifts. For the record, that does not mean I'm playing favorites. It simply means that a mother's heart is capable of holding all her greatest loves and being lifted, rather than broken, by their weight.
My tiny treasure, you bring with you such joy. It radiates out of you, bright and shiny, blessing all who are near. You only care to gift them with this joy from afar; you are definitely a momma's girl. Though you have finally begun to branch out, enjoying daddy, tolerating strangers and even going to the church nursery for the first time, you still spend the vast majority of your day attached to my hip. We call you my little barnacle.
Can I tell you a secret?
I love it.
You have been less precocious about meeting your first-year milestones. Where your big brother and sister could not wait to charge down that road and conquer every adventure, you are entirely content to wander slowly through your babyhood, taking your time and enjoying each phase.
I love that, too.
You have delighted in being a baby, and I am contented by your sweet touches, shy smiles and even by how very much you still need me. I am stretched more thinly now than ever before, but the wonder of it all is that I have never been happier or better at this difficult and uncertain job of mothering.
I think it's you who brings that out in me.
You round out our family so very perfectly. God gave us exactly what we needed, before we ever dreamed that we needed it. His hand and perfect timing are so evident to me each time I look at you, I sometimes wonder how I could ever have second guessed them in the past.
Thank you, my beautiful girl, for every second of joy you have brought this family over the last year. You are a wonderful, BIG miracle.
I love you. I love being your mommy.
With love and gratitude,