Growth Spurt

Okay, mommies everywhere, this one is for you. And, also, perhaps a little TMI, so don't let me offend your delicate sensibilities. You've been warned.

Leah is 3 months old... and I think (and hope!) going through a growth spurt.

I know this because we went from nursing roughly every 4 hours, and waking only twice through the night and going immediately back to sleep...

...to nursing every 2 hours again! ARGH!

Not to mention, just like a newborn, she isn't going back to sleep right away. I don't know if she's not getting enough milk, or what the situation is, but I have to say, I'm not loving it.

Not much else gets done when you're attached to somebody every two hours!

Is this normal??!? More importantly, how long does it last? I'm exhausted - and sore!

The Happiest Place on Earth

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who thought she was a princess.


Okay, so she wasn't so much a little girl. She was 17.


And she wasn't exactly a princess. But, she was the drum major of a marching band that was performing in the Rose Bowl parade.

As part of her trip, that little girl was extatic that she also got to perform at the happiest place on Earth.

As you may have guessed, that little girl was me. And this was the last time I was at Disneyland.

And even at 17, that little girl looked forward to the day she would bring her own family to Disneyland. At the time, it seemed like a beautiful, elusive and far-away dream.

Recently, though, that dream came true.

I got to take my daughter to Disneyland! Yes, she is a tiny little pumpkin, and clearly this is not a trip she will remember.

For me, on the other hand, it was a trip I will always cherish. It literally brought tears to my eyes to walk down Mainstreet with my husband and our daughter!

It was a truly wonderful experience.

As per my usual, I was worried... perhaps it would be too much for Leah and a terrible outing for us all. But, in typical Leah fashion, she was smiling and delightful the entire day.

We had to take it slow, and we didn't ride very many rides. To me, though, that was never the point to begin with. Every time I looked into my husband's face, or my daughter's, I was almost overcome with joy.

I couldn't help but feel immense gratitude for the sheer wonderful-ness (wonderosity?) that is my life!

My favorite memory was during our drive home after what was without doubt the busiest, most over-stimulating day of Leah's life, and still, that sweet baby was smiling and chatting away with me as I sat in the back seat of the car.

At 17, I ran around the park as fast as I could so that I could be sure to ride each ride. At 26, I was perfectly content to do more walking than runing. Everything we did was so much more magical and exciting because of the handsome man at my side and the beautiful little lady in my arms.

The only thing that remains the same is that I can't wait to go back next time... especially since next time, I'll really get to enjoy the magic through Leah's eyes!

5 down, 45 to go

Where have we been?


View Larger Map


At the ripe old age of 3 months, Leah's list of states visited now includes: Utah, Arizona, Nevada and California!

As a former resident of California himself, Casey still has a fair amount of family in the state. His cousin Charlie graduated on June 16th, so what better time to take our first family road trip?

I was extremely apprehensive about the drive, since Leah's distaste of driving still hasn't let up. To my immense surprise and relief, she did beautifully in the car!

The drive was a simple one, although it took 2 days to complete. From Denver, we took I-70 west through the mountains to Grand Junction; Green River, Utah; St. George, Utah; Mesquite, AZ/NV; Las Vegas, NV; all the way along I-15 to Los Angeles.

I couldn't be more delighted with our first family vacation. Highlights of the trip include:

-Getting to meet Casey's grandma for the first time, and showing off her very first great-grandchild-

- My first trip to the Hoover Dam-

-Visiting Santa Monica pier, and Leah's first trip to the ocean-

-Watching Charlie graduate!-

-DISNEYLAND!!!!!-

Good things come in threes

Today, our sweet little pumpkin is 3 months old.

A few things about Leah at three months:

We now get *TONS* of smiles, especially in the morning.

My favorite smiles are the ones where she smiles and scrunches up her shoulders as if to say, "I know I'm just too darn cute!"

She hasn't really laughed since the "Sweat drips down my balls" incident, but I feel she is constantly on the verge of it these days.

She has been putting her chin to her chest and trying to sit up for about a week. She loves it when we help her sit up.

She also adores standing - which is mildly terrifying to her mother!

She still has a great bedtime routine and will sleep about 5 hours in her crib before waking and coming into Mommy and Daddy's room.

Her naps are getting to be more consistent, although not always in her crib

She now enjoys the time spent in her bouncer (especially if she can "talk" to her friends!)

When I hold her, her favorite position is lying diagonally in my arms, especially if she can suck on my arm while she's at it.

She loves to get kisses, and will turn her big, wide-open mouth to me when I tell her I'm coming to give her kisses. (sooo cute!)

She is now a constant drool factory... Daddy always says she's left the faucet on.

She does wonderfully on her play mat.

She still has no hair, at least on the top of her head... and if she is anything like her mother, she probably won't for a while!

She has taken to trying to shove both hands in her mouth (at the same time!)

She will swat at and investigate toys hanging in front of her, although she doesn't often grasp them yet.

She still hates the car, but loves to go on outings.

She has been going through a pretty "mommy-only" phase of life, which I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, it is amazing to me to know that I can (and do) comfort my daughter! She often smiles when she hears my voice from another room, and I can, with very few exceptions, calm her when she is upset. On the other hand... I'd certainly like her to share the love!

Casey and I feel so lucky to have this sweet, funny, strong, content little lady in our lives. It is a joyful and amazing adventure to be her parents, and we enjoy every minute of it!!

Worries... I've got 'em

Anxiety.

First, it was that tricky first trimester. I thought that if I could just survive (and Leah did, too) those first 14 weeks, life would be golden.

Then, at 20 weeks, I started having crazy fears that she would come early... waaaay too early.

After that it was worry over labor; worry that there would be something horribly, life-threateningly wrong which couldn't be diagnosed in-utero.

When she was perfect, I breathed a sigh of relief, and thought my worries would ease up.

Unfortunately, there is that tricky thing called SIDS, where babies go to sleep and simply don't wake up (GULP).

And somehow, it seems that life is just more complicated and scary when you're a momma (says the girl who went to school at 14 and got shot at... shouldn't I be fearless? Haven't I already lived through the worst? Turns out, not even close.).

When I talk about anxiety, people automatically jump to the "postpartum" discussion, and I really don't think that's the answer. Perhaps, though, the hormones, lack of sleep, stress, new life situation, etc, etc are all in cahoots with each other.

Regardless, it's the kind of worry that keeps me awake in the middle of the night. And it's not just the big stuff that keeps me up.

I worry that I'm not stimulating Leah as much as I should.

I worry that I'm smothering her and she'll turn into a toddler who can't entertain herself.

I worry that I'm not fulfilling my role as a wife.

I worry that I'm not keeping my house clean enough.

I worry that I'm not eating well enough to feed my daughter.

I worry about our daycare situation when I go back to work in the fall. (And by "worry," I mean it literally makes me cry every time I think about it.)

I worry that Leah sleeps too much. Or too little.

I worry about driving with her in the car (partly because she hates it, partly because... have you met other drivers?)

I worry that Casey and I aren't communicating the way we did pre-baby.

I worry that Casey will get some rare, incurable disease, or that something awful will happen to him. How would I live through that?

I worry about my parents'... well, everything.

And then... I feel guilty for worrying, when everything in my life is so perfect. And because worrying is stupid to begin with. As if my midnight worries can change anything anyway.

So I remind myself:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.~Proverbs 3:5

But still, this thing called motherhood... it's hard. Totally worth it, but real hard.

Just chatting

I love how quickly everything baby-related changes. (Did I say love? I'm going to stick with that for today and amend it when it suits me...)

Leah is working diligently on her verbal ability. It has gone from mostly crying, to cooing, to wild gesticulating that looks very much like she is trying to tell me something, to having her own "conversations" with people and things.

She's been working on these conversations to varying degrees for a few weeks, but all of a sudden, they are very developed.

I adore them!

Today, we were getting ready to go to the doctor. Leah was in her bouncer as I was bustling around getting everything packed and in the car, when I heard a TON of cute little noises issuing from inside. I had to grab the camera and take a little video!

Here is Leah, "talking" to her froggy. If you're a parent, I'm sure you've seen all this before. For me and for Leah, it's the first time, and it's all kinds of amazing!

Yesterday vs. Today

Yesterday was the kind of day that couldn't get over quickly enough. Frankly, I was curled up in the fetal position rocking myself in a corner by the end of it.

Leah was still recovering from our super busy weekend. The problem was, even though she was exhausted, and G-R-U-M-P-Y, she wouldn't sleep... hence the fetal position.

Fortunately, today was a new day (thank you, Scarlet O'Hara!).

Today, I am SUPERMOM!

Today, my baby is not only a huge smile factory, she is also a napper extrordinaire.

Today, I discovered the secret to a good nap: watching for Leah's "sleepy signs" and putting her down immediately.

So much for the schedule I've been trying to put her on. So much for scratching that in favor of putting her down 2 hours after she last woke up. Turns out, both of those strategies result with mom in a corner in the fetal position.

This way, I have a daughter who naps like a queen! Or... you know, Rip Van Winkle, or someone else who is a notoriously good napper.

I.AM.AWESOME!

(And if you mention the fact that it took me nearly three months to figure that out, I will cheerfully beat you to death.)