Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The one with all the metaphors

I ran into a friend of mine from high school at the grocery store recently.

We spoke briefly about life, where we are, what we're doing, the things that have changed.

Before he left, he observed: "You really seem to have it all figured out."

Of course, I made some quippy, self-depricating remark.  On the inside, the only thing I could think was, You shoulda seen me last year!

Because last year, he wouldn't have said that.  Last year, he wouldn't have recognized me in my sleep-deprived, milk-stained, forgot-to-wash-the-conditioner-out-of-my-hair, constantly-on-the-verge-of-an-anxiety-attack state. 

It got me thinking about "having it all figured out."  Is there even such a thing?

And I suppose that, today, I do seem to have it all figured out.  I mean, really, my biggest worry right now is whether or not I'll be able to be a stay at home mom by this time next year.  Let's be honest, that is a pretty priviledged and rare place to be. 

But does that equate to that mystical title of having it all figured out?

This moment - today - feels like walking along a moving sidewalk.  It's easy.  Effortless. 

There have been other times that the journey hasn't been so easy.  Times that I've been running - sprinting, even - to catch up or stay ahead. 

Times I've been able to walk leisurely and enjoy the sunlight. 

Times I've jogged along in the pouring rain. 

And of course, times that I've been the oxen yoked to a cart of rocks so huge and heavy that even the task of  putting one foot in front of the other day after day is enormous.

It is funny how life is like that, and how quickly things can change. 

So I suppose for now - whether I have it all figured out or not - I'll just sit back and enjoy my days on the moving sidewalk while they last. 

Not to mention, enjoy the compliment of some(obviously delusional)one thinking that I have it all figured out.

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