But this time, it's not grief.
It's that familiar feeling, that overpowering sense of gratitude I get sometimes when I'm feeling particularly happy or hopeful.
I am notorious for crying not when I'm sad, but when I'm happy. And I'm doing it again. It's been a while.
There is an unfamiliar sense of peace coursing through me. A knowledge that something is coming. A certainty in my own motherhood; confident in this vision that lingers in my head of four.
Strength. Perseverence. Fortitude. These things I have in reserve, although I'd very much like to keep them in storage for a while.
Hope.
I've still got it. It's just been hiding for a while.
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