Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A little love math

One of the best parts about being a mom of two is experiencing love's incredible power to multiply. 

If I'm being honest, I worried more than a little about whether I'd be able to love this one enough.  In part, there was my very real terror over the raising of a baby boy.  The thought that, when the doctor put him in my arms, I might not be as instantly and overwhelmingly enamoured as I knew I would be with a little girl.  That place in my soul that lit up when I found out we were having a girl filled with fear when I discovered it was a boy. 

Because, truth?  I don't know anything about boys.  All my least favorite students have been boys (I mean, erm... teachers don't have favorites).  How could I raise one?

In the second place, though, it was nearly impossible to imagine loving someone as much as I love Leah.  Could I possibly have it in me to let two people be the single point around which my world turns?

Oh, how very wrong I've been.

This boy is absolutely infectious.  The way he snuggles into me.  His chubby cheeks when he sleeps.  Those eyes that light up and his pure joy when he spots me.  As if he's never seen anything quite so awesome. 

And I find myself saying the same things I said to Leah.  You are the cutest thing I've ever seen!  You are just the best baby!

The big miracle of it all, the part I could never understand as a child or even as a mother until the day Logan was born, is that he is the cutest baby.  He is the best thing I've ever been a part of.  I really do love him more than anyone.

And saying that doesn't take away at all from the fact that I feel exactly the same way about my daughter. 

It is singularly and simultaneously true.

Leah filled every inch of my soul with joy, and somehow there is still room for Logan to fill it completely too. They aren't sharing that space; my own capacity has simply grown.


1 comment:

  1. wonderfully put! You look gorgeous and so happy, an d look how adorable Logan is!


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