Sunday, July 24, 2011

I'll be your cheerleader

I like to consider myself an optimist. That glass right there?  It's half-full.

Which is why I felt weak and whiny about sharing my anxieties and frustration related to getting pregnant. 

The comments I have received over the past week, however, make me extremely glad I did.  Your e-mails and Facebook messages and comments amazed, encouraged and humbled me, and have had me in tears more than once. 

There are so many of you out there who have been through your share of struggles on the path to motherhood.  Often a silent and lonely struggle, where people tell you with almost patronizing enthusiasm just to give it time, or that it will happen when it's supposed to.  You've gone to baby showers and smiled with as much genuine happiness as you can muster.  You've watched friends "glow" and patted bellies and wondered why it was meant to be for someone else and not for you.

I don't claim to get it.  I haven't faced the fight the way many of you have.  But sharing my struggles revealed that many of you are suffering or have suffered varying degrees of similar emotions.

In other words, I'm not alone in thinking that not getting pregnant or not staying pregnant feels like crap.  Why did I think I was some weird freak?

Why is it that, as women who willingly bare our souls about so many different topics, we keep these struggles a secret?  I am asking because I don't have an answer, just a lot of kind and empathetic comments as evidence.

It takes big girl guts to admit to this stuff, and it's neither whiny nor weak to let it be known that some days, it hurts. 

So, while I don't ever, ever want to view that glass as half-empty, nor do I want to turn this blog into one gigantic catalogue of woe is me, I do want to renew my commitment to what's honest.  Keeping all of this to ourselves does no one any good.

And if you ever need a cheerleader, don't be afraid to share, here or in person (so-to-speak):  It's worth it to send each other some love and support.  And icecream.  You know, if you're close enough that it won't melt...

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