Scare

I had my first-ever round of Braxton-Hicks contractions this week. And it was decidedly not fun.

Monday was Presidents' day, so there was (YAY!) no school. It was a really fun day! I met Jessica for coffee early that morning, which we used to do once a week and hadn't done in about a month. Then, I met my mom and sister downtown for lunch, and we had an awesome time walking around Kelsey's new property and the 16th street mall.

When I got home, I did a number of things in an attempt to get the baby's room in order.

Evidently, I did too much.

My contractions started at about 5:30. I tried to ignore them, and for the most part, I succeeded. They didn't really hurt... or at least, they weren't painful. They weren't exactly painless, either. I was making dinner when Casey got home about an hour later, and I had him look up Braxton-Hicks so that I could decide if that's what I was actually feeling.

I'm pretty sure that's what it was. But then they went on, periodically, not getting worse and not getting better, for about the next three hours. I did everything I was supposed to to help aleviate them - I ate, drank water, took a bath - and they did eventually ease up.

By the time I went to bed, I was totally freaked out. Scared because one of my greatest fears is that she will come early; that thought absolutely terrifies me. Whatever else happens to me during labor I will deal with with gratitude, but I want the baby to be safe and healthy, neither of which typically result from an early labor.

I woke up at about 1 a.m. because I dreamt that my water broke. Then I realized that either a) more contractions had begun, or b) I was so anxious that my stomach was tightening, feeling like contractions. I never did decide for sure which it was.

Needless to say, I never went back to sleep that night. I fully admit that I didn't handle this particularly well. It was a whole, sudden realization of just how unprepared I am; how unprepared we are.

Not only was the fear of premature labor strong, but it dawned on me that, should that occur, we didn't even have a bag packed for the hospital. I didn't have any sub plans lined up. We simply weren't ready to pick up and leave our lives to have a baby! It was overwhelming, and for OCD, type-A me, those thoughts were almost panic-inducing.

Fortunately, I remedied all of those and I feel much better. If Baby Girl decides to come early, we are (mostly) ready for her. Or, at least, we are as ready as we can be if she were to come 2 months early. It doesn't take away my fear of having her early, but it does help me to feel like we can handle it, if that were to be the case.

But I'd still really prefer that not to be the case!!!