Tuesday, August 31, 2010

On the eve of becoming me

Motherhood.  The greatest journey I've ever taken.  The most wonderful, difficult, scary, challenging, humbling (and the adjectives go on and on) task I've ever undertaken.  Would I trade it?  Not for a second.

I found this video today and couldn't help but be introspective. 

The video asks women, if they had an opportunity to go back in time to the night before they gave birth, what would they tell their former selves?

I love this video.  As most things do, it made me cry. 

If I could go back in time six months, here's what I would tell myself on the eve of motherhood:

Trust - trust in God, trust the process, trust myself, trust my husband and the team we've created for ourselves.  Trust that it's going to be okay. 

After six months, I'm finally coming to terms with trust.  I feel like I'm coming into my own as a mother, and have a little more of the T word in myself.  I don't question every single decision I make... even when (as often is the case) I'm wrong.  It's okay for me to be wrong, because in being wrong, I get a little better.  I build character and strength.  I know what to do next time. 

And, even more often, it turns out that I'm not wrong, because I know my baby, and I know what's right for my baby.  Because I'm her momma, and somehow, over the course of the last 6 months, that has worked itself out. 

And it's pretty awesome.

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